january 14th

jokes on you day

person 1: its january 14th, jokes on you my dad is dead
person 2: jokes on you im an orphan
person 1: damn dude

by 👁👄👁✨ January 13, 2022

January

Someone who only goes to the gym a few times a year, or who has only recently gone from reading online about fitness to exercising in real life.

"I'll just do something bodyweight at home... I don't want to deal with all the Januaries."

"First he did deadlifts with the worst form I've ever seen and then he started lecturing me on 5x5s. He's a fuckin January."

by theprotomen February 17, 2017

January 21st

National fake sick day

Jack: ughh I don’t wanna school

Megan: you don’t want january 21st is?
jack: no what is it?
megan: it’s national fake sick day. everyone and their mom is doing it!!!

by bad bitch from the 314 January 20, 2020

january 18

this day all of you have to tell me happy birthday :))

me: hey, its january 18th, its my birthday

by skeremododiablowachin October 26, 2019

january 11

your mom eats ass

“ hey david you’re mom ate my ass today , it’s january 11th”

by ueheiwhaja January 11, 2022

January 5

Give your friends with benefits a kiss day and also have sex with them

Hey carlos wanna kiss me? or have sex with me instead its January 5th!

by courtneylol192 January 4, 2022

Sky high January

What everyone doing Dry January has secretly started by the middle of the month.

They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.

Ah yes, Leonard and Celine back at their old charade - pushing the wine glasses away as if we didn’t know they’re in full-blown Sky High January mode and smoked three blunts before they came to dinner.

by daltonjfk January 17, 2020