Skip to main content

chocolate malted turtle

When you're turtle heading a turd, but also want to have anal. So the turd gets yoyo-ed up and down your anal cavity only to explode out on completion
I really needed to shit but he came at me with the lube and I couldn't say no, but I ended up doing a chocolate malted turtle all over his dick
by Snarf snarf April 30, 2016
mugGet the chocolate malted turtlemug.

turtle bumped the cloth

A severe prairie dogging situation where it actually touched your underwear before going back in your butt
Awww quick , get off the highway i can't make it , the turtle bumped the cloth !!!
by Big donker January 24, 2021
mugGet the turtle bumped the clothmug.

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.
"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"
by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010
mugGet the asphyxiated turtle headmug.

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.
Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.
by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019
mugGet the Pettin’ the Turtlemug.

turtle tuesday

by sircarno January 19, 2021
mugGet the turtle tuesdaymug.

Turtle

Is that a plastic straw?!?! *slaps plastic straw out of hand* Here you can use my metal one! Save the turtles!!! SKSKSKSK!!
by steppedindogpee November 16, 2019
mugGet the Turtlemug.

Turtle-stabbin

A popular term for inserting a man's penis into an anal cavity. Most likely this is done in the doggy style position however can be done in many other preferred intercourse techniques.
"After the I left the bar last night, I went Turtle-stabbin with Stacy. Got into a bit of a sticky situation."
by Tiffini Smith February 8, 2018
mugGet the Turtle-stabbinmug.

Share this definition