asphyxiated turtle head 

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

asphyxiated turtle head by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010

evil turtle 

An evil turtle is by no means a 'turtle.' It is a 'turtle-like creature' that is evil. I apologize for any confusion.

"A koopa is a turtle/evil turtle"-C
"Shut up Shigeru Miyamoto even said it's not."-Everyone

evil turtle by B1GM1 July 1, 2011

Pyjama Turtle 

Someone who uses protection after they already have protection because they are a paranoid pillock.

"So did you do it?"
"Yeah but he had 3 condoms on, such a pyjama turtle"

"Maybe i should bring extra, just in case"
"Dude don't be a pyjama turtle"

Pyjama Turtle by Pyjama Turtle November 18, 2011

Bacon Turtle 

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).

Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!

Bacon Turtle by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014

Eating turtle 

Term used for eating a vagina that takes a long time to cum.

Kevin- Yo, bro last night I was eating out Sarahs coochi and she didnt cum for 3 hours. My jaw is fucked up

Steve- Eating turtle will do that to you. You have my sympathies.

Girl- Come ova chyea boy and eat dis turtle.
Boy- I dont want to be engulfed in your box for 2 days so.... No.

Eating turtle by BodiesByJustin June 27, 2014

hunting turtle

A robot monster with four legs and a shell and it looks like a turtle but it's not... I learned

Dude I found a strange turtle

That's a hunting turtle... Run

hunting turtle by liner April 5, 2015

full turtle 

When something is so awkward/horrifying you pull your shirt, jacket or sweatshirt to cover your face. Normally this contains/disguises your laughing fit.

Someone looked up what truffle butter was, I full turtled for 5 min.

full turtle by Reallyallnamesaretaken April 17, 2015