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Schumer Paradox

A paradox (one (such as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases) in which said person (Amy Schumer, that one girl named carly etc.) misinterprets charming personality traits, making unfunny jokes and saying weird hurtful things, assuming that all failures are a result of "not doing it good enough;" perpetuating an eternal cycle of false feedback.
P1 "You know that one chick in english who tries waaay too hard?" P2 "Oh yeah homies stuck in a Schumer Paradox
by Wodentheallfather April 9, 2022
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Breylon's Paradox

When a usually speedy electronic device suddenly slows to a halt at the moment you need it most.
I tried to clock in on time, but the computer just stopped working, and made me 2 minutes late. This is the 3rd time I've fell into Breylon's Paradox this week.
by KidNinjaGames January 28, 2015
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Samantha Paradox

The thought of oneself being less attractive then one truly is.
Jamal: Dude, why does she have such low self-esteem? She's a dime!

Griffin: Dude, the Samantha Paradox.
by Brbgonnagosmoke November 16, 2012
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Retard Paradox

Two retards in a continuous loop of retarded moments.

(Studied at the University of Princeton)
Retard Paradox Example:
Retard Noah: Reeeeeeeeee!
Retard Josh: Reeeeeeeeeee!
Retard Noah: Reeeeeeeeeeee!
Retard Josh: Reeeeeeeeeeeee!
by Wyates5 April 28, 2019
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Gates Paradox

Any problem with a Microsoft computer system caused by an inadvertent reboot that can only be fixed for some reason by rebooting again.
My power went out and kicked my desktop. It was all messed up. I rebooted it and now it's clean. It's the fucking Gates Paradox.
by STPotter November 21, 2007
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Fudgepacker Paradox

This refers to the phenomenon of gay males having more success attracting women than straight males do. This is paradoxical as, obviously, a gay male has no interest in the women they monopolize away from straight males.
"Gay men get all the women. Everyone knows this. It's called the Fudgepacker Paradox."
by GingerBeer June 17, 2012
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Ultimate Paradox

getting head from a girl in a movie theatre playing brokeback mountain
by big daddy 978 November 29, 2006
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