masturbation

The act of self-stimulation to produce pleasure. Often misconceived as a mortal sin.

Types of masturbation: regular masturbation or mutual masturbation.

by DarthVadarStrikesAgain December 29, 2007

Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010

Masturbation Chamber

Synonymous with the common shower stall that is primarily used for wanking.

It's been a really stressful day, twenty minutes in the masturbation chamber should do the trick.

by kk2134 November 21, 2010

masturbation for girls

When the female variant of Homo sapiens stimulate the vagina, labia, and or clit for sexual pleasure.

It makes great porn!

Jimmy and I made Sarah teach us how different masturbation for girls is than guys.

by Dextarian August 16, 2016

Mirror Masterbation

The act of masterbating to your own reflection.

Tom: I'm so hot I'd masterbate to myself.

Bill: You what?

Tom: Ever heard of Mirror Masterbation?

Bill: No... That sounds nasty.

by Flawless23 April 21, 2011

masturbation-fueled car

A car whose owner can only afford to run it by making regular donations to the sperm bank

Damn I just got caught by a speed camera and my fuel tank is empty and my insurance needs renewing. I calculate that to cover this cost I need to make 72 donations to the sperm bank. Or ask my boss for a payrise but that would involve less orgasms for me.

by Jigs got a passport February 19, 2004

literary masturbation

A lot of so-called journalism today is literary masturbation where, instead of researching a subject and writing an informed and stimulating article, the writer has a wank-fest of verbal indulgence expressing their personal opinion. This is forgiveable in the very young who may be playing with language and style and have lived so shortly their lack of experience absolves them from such a waste of words. You have to make mistakes to learn. The real damage occurs when this behaviour lasts past college!

He's too lazy to engage with the subject so he just lays back and verbosely self-indulges - it's a shame, really, because he can string sentences together well; if only they had content....

by Tel March 24, 2005