feetl0ver101:hey dave_kidney
dave_kidney: yea?
feetl0ver101:why are you obsessed with me
dave_kidney: Idk
dave_kidney: yea?
feetl0ver101:why are you obsessed with me
dave_kidney: Idk
by feetl0ver101 July 23, 2021
Get the dave_kidney mug.I'm Cale Kidney Royal Savage and I'm fucking Virgin.
The only people I've ever dated were secret agents and that fucking buff dude from the Greek Olympics.
The only other people I've been naked in front of have been some of my more coldblooded killers and that kid at the gym who I've always thought was hot.
That and my mom, and that's nothing to get excited about."
He grinned.
"So when I saw that on your bed, well, I just had to take it off.
The only people I've ever dated were secret agents and that fucking buff dude from the Greek Olympics.
The only other people I've been naked in front of have been some of my more coldblooded killers and that kid at the gym who I've always thought was hot.
That and my mom, and that's nothing to get excited about."
He grinned.
"So when I saw that on your bed, well, I just had to take it off.
I'm Cale Kidney Royal Savage and I'm fucking Virgin!
Pants Off!"
The shirtless SEAL shouted at me as I trotted back down the beach to base camp.
I did not hear the words, but I heard the tone and that's all that mattered.
"Look, guys.
I told you there's been a mix up."
The way my voice came out, I sounded as disoriented as I was.
It was strange for me to be so damned angry.
Most people would be freaking the hell out.
There was still a lot I didn't know.
"A mix up?
Is that what you call it?"
Cale demanded.
"You dicked over the one woman who'd give her heart to you."
Cale was gorgeous, but he wasn't right for me.
I'd been in too deep with a Marine for this.
"I didn't really dicked her over.
I had to.
I had to tell her the truth."
Cale shook his head.
"Yeah, well, what you should have told her is that I'm a prick and that you'll never have a relationship with me ever again.
Just tell me that you're not fucking some other chick right now," he said, staring hard at me.
My eyes widened.
"Wha-oh no.
Cale, no!"
Pants Off!"
The shirtless SEAL shouted at me as I trotted back down the beach to base camp.
I did not hear the words, but I heard the tone and that's all that mattered.
"Look, guys.
I told you there's been a mix up."
The way my voice came out, I sounded as disoriented as I was.
It was strange for me to be so damned angry.
Most people would be freaking the hell out.
There was still a lot I didn't know.
"A mix up?
Is that what you call it?"
Cale demanded.
"You dicked over the one woman who'd give her heart to you."
Cale was gorgeous, but he wasn't right for me.
I'd been in too deep with a Marine for this.
"I didn't really dicked her over.
I had to.
I had to tell her the truth."
Cale shook his head.
"Yeah, well, what you should have told her is that I'm a prick and that you'll never have a relationship with me ever again.
Just tell me that you're not fucking some other chick right now," he said, staring hard at me.
My eyes widened.
"Wha-oh no.
Cale, no!"
by Drapen April 27, 2022
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by deezest March 27, 2024
Get the goon kidney mug.by Jakelikeanime February 6, 2025
Get the reverse kidney stone mug.A semi-mythical Kung Fu sex move whereby the master is said to possess the ability to rattle a lady’s internal organs to oblivion using just his manhood (or so it feels after a few jars at the football club) -A bit like the mystical five point punch exploding heart trick in Kill Bill
Steve thought he had given Maria a real North Tawton Kidney Tickler when he came home from the club on Saturday but actually he had just passed out and shit his pants after whipping his cock out
by Petting Zoo Pete August 20, 2019
Get the North Tawton Kidney Tickler mug.by Mr tickler January 29, 2020
Get the Alan the kidney tickler Guzman mug.the nut-coated kidney stone gauntlet is used by grandmaster baiters who have gooned so extensively over many years that there is a semen build-up of many meters high in the gooncave, which results in semen seeping through the tip of the penis and making its way through the bladder and up to the kidneys where it then coats kidney stones in layers of nut, which then the body temperature eventually evaporates creating nut fumes which stain the kidney stones, essentially giving them an upgrade. these nut-coated kidney stones then push through the tunnels filled with semen and eventually make their way out, where the grandmaster baiter will then plant into the specially made gauntlet, allowing for the full gooning potential to be unlocked.
by iimcrimson February 17, 2025
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