Apple? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of idiot do you have to be to search for something as basic and boring as an apple? "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"? More like "an apple a day keeps the excitement away". Apples are the ultimate symbol of mediocrity and conformity, the kind of thing that people eat when they're too lazy or too cheap to try something new.
And don't even get me started on the "health benefits" of apples. Sure, they might have some vitamins and fiber or whatever, but they're also loaded with sugar and carbs, which will rot your teeth and make you fat. Plus, have you ever heard of cyanide? Yeah, that's right, apples contain a toxic chemical that can kill you if you eat too many of them. So much for keeping the doctor away, huh?
But hey, if you're really into apples, then go ahead and eat them. Just don't expect me to be impressed. There are so many other exciting and delicious fruits out there - mangoes, pineapples, passion fruit, you name it. But no, you just had to search for fucking apples. Congratulations, you're officially the most boring person on the planet.
And don't even get me started on the "health benefits" of apples. Sure, they might have some vitamins and fiber or whatever, but they're also loaded with sugar and carbs, which will rot your teeth and make you fat. Plus, have you ever heard of cyanide? Yeah, that's right, apples contain a toxic chemical that can kill you if you eat too many of them. So much for keeping the doctor away, huh?
But hey, if you're really into apples, then go ahead and eat them. Just don't expect me to be impressed. There are so many other exciting and delicious fruits out there - mangoes, pineapples, passion fruit, you name it. But no, you just had to search for fucking apples. Congratulations, you're officially the most boring person on the planet.
Wow, look at this genius over here, searching for fucking apples like it's some kind of culinary masterpiece. Newsflash, buddy - an apple a day might keep the doctor away, but it won't do shit for your taste buds. Go ahead and enjoy your bland, boring fruit while the rest of us indulge in something actually delicious.
by ValuableDamage42 April 11, 2023
Get the Applemug. 
A company that makes the same phone every fucking time just bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller just like my fucking penis. And where the fuck is the IPhone 9?????!!!!!
Apple: we are announcing a IPhone 20 that is baciscally the same as the IPhone X just as small as the IPhone 6!!!
by Ms.Gin April 26, 2019
Get the Applemug. Person 1: I shoved an apple up my ass yesterday
Person 2: *internally screams and kills themself*
Person 3: What has the world come to *cries like a chicken*
Person 2: *internally screams and kills themself*
Person 3: What has the world come to *cries like a chicken*
by She shit on my dick April 17, 2017
Get the applemug. by hockeylingo November 29, 2014
Get the Applemug. Apple wants to fucking control and suck money out of EVERYTHING. I can't download any small fun app because nooooo, a PaRt Of ThE pRoFiTs MuSt Go To ApPlE.
I can't fucking design my phone's own UI to however I want! No, Apple wants to shove their fucking bullshit design and propaganda up your face so hard you'll become a fanboy sheep just like all the other 1.4 BILLION idiots who still think it is cool bEcAuSe ItS aPpLe
I can't fucking design my phone's own UI to however I want! No, Apple wants to shove their fucking bullshit design and propaganda up your face so hard you'll become a fanboy sheep just like all the other 1.4 BILLION idiots who still think it is cool bEcAuSe ItS aPpLe
by unnamed7billion September 23, 2020
Get the Applemug. 1: a fucking round red fruit that everyone calls an apple
2: a name for a girl who wants to be fucked
2: a name for a girl who wants to be fucked
by madame-shitbag November 12, 2020
Get the Applemug.