The post-Millennial generation alternative to breastfeeding, steeped in much ongoing legal, moral, ethical, and religious controversy. It is thought to be a logical and direct outcome of the feminist movement with most of its practitioners being stay-at-home fathers of the so-called “beta-male” persuasion.” It is exactly as it sounds: using the testicles instead of the chesticles to deliver life-sustenance to the burgeoning infant, while providing a release to the parents (the obvious tension release from the father, and the release from the bondage of “trad” motherhood for the die-hard feminist.) The most beautiful symbiosis.
Studies show that shaftmilk is as nutritious as breastmilk in 100/100 of cases (see NAMBLA Journal of Medical Research, Vol. 1, $.50) and combats anxiety, depression, herpes in dogs, but does not cure dick breath. Shaftfeeding can also be accomplished through the anus or vagina, where it is also known as cockfeeding or “chasing the financial advisor’s pet tadpole.”
Currently illegal in all 50 US states, but probably legal in Trudeau’s Canada.
Studies show that shaftmilk is as nutritious as breastmilk in 100/100 of cases (see NAMBLA Journal of Medical Research, Vol. 1, $.50) and combats anxiety, depression, herpes in dogs, but does not cure dick breath. Shaftfeeding can also be accomplished through the anus or vagina, where it is also known as cockfeeding or “chasing the financial advisor’s pet tadpole.”
Currently illegal in all 50 US states, but probably legal in Trudeau’s Canada.
Bedelia: “Carthage! I need you to step up and SHAFTFEED THE TWINS. SOMEONE has to go to work, and I HAVE A GIRL BOSS JOB BEING A GIRL BOSS AND I AM A BOSS BABE AND I WEAR THE PANTS IN THIS HERE FAMILY. I ONLY HAVE BREASTS AND AM INCAPABLE OF SHAFTFEEDING. MAKE SURE DINNER IS READY WHEN I GET HOME. I LUVVVV YOUUUU MWAHHH BYEEEE!”
Carthage McFartface: (under breath) “BISSHHH…(grabs twins who are attached at the forehead)…(unzips trousers zzzZzZZZIIP!)…WITCH WON OF YOU LUKKY BISSHES GETZ 2 TAYST DADDY FURST? LATCH! LATCH WHY DONTCHAAAH AHGH UGHH UNHGGHH OHHH THAT IS SO GOOD DADDY LOVES YOU SO MUTCH UNGHHHHH…”
Carthage McFartface: (under breath) “BISSHHH…(grabs twins who are attached at the forehead)…(unzips trousers zzzZzZZZIIP!)…WITCH WON OF YOU LUKKY BISSHES GETZ 2 TAYST DADDY FURST? LATCH! LATCH WHY DONTCHAAAH AHGH UGHH UNHGGHH OHHH THAT IS SO GOOD DADDY LOVES YOU SO MUTCH UNGHHHHH…”
by Robaürt Du Maÿnnne October 15, 2025
Get the Shaftfeeding mug.The surname of a Renaissance English bisexual man with an especially massive, stiff, and pointy penis who left a trail of bleeding lovers of both sexes with torn orifices in his wake. He was responsible for many fatal hemorrhages but was never identified and brought to justice. He successfully obscured his identity by dressing like William Shakespeare and reciting sonnets. Preceding Jack the Ripper by several hundred years, he may have provided him with inspiration. Jack the Ripper is reputed to have said, "a rip of the neck out-bleeds a tear of the bum any day. Shaftspeare was a prick."
Shaftspeare fucked her in the ass, tearing her rectum and anus, as he asked, "Do you like the rhythm? It's iambic pentameter" Being a fan of Shakespeare, she whimpered, "yes, your metering is impeccably timed" as she grew pale and faint and bled out.
by Velvet Tongue January 15, 2026
Get the Shaftspeare mug.Related Words
Shifty
• shift
• Shifter
• shifting
• Shifted
• shiftchanging
• shifting gears
• shifting realities
• shifty eyes
• shift 1
by FoutMastaFlash October 22, 2003
Get the team shaft mug.A drunken abbreviation of "so shitfaced". The highest level of "shifness", "soh shif" usually entails excessive retching after returning to one's dorm room or apartment.
The term is often used while drunk instant messaging, as individuals that are soh shif cannot properly type, read, speak, or communicate.
The term is often used while drunk instant messaging, as individuals that are soh shif cannot properly type, read, speak, or communicate.
by Cary 3 December 31, 2007
Get the soh shif mug.The male reproductive organ.
The shaft of a man's penis.
Derogatory name to call someone that is a giant cockbag. A cylindrical mass of meat.
Or
1.The male genitals
2.An abrasive man
3.Short-form for "Richard"
1.I loved the feel of his dick inside me
2.Stop being such a dick
3.His name was Dick and he had a large Tubesteak Cock Penis Spam Javelin
The shaft of a man's penis.
Derogatory name to call someone that is a giant cockbag. A cylindrical mass of meat.
Or
1.The male genitals
2.An abrasive man
3.Short-form for "Richard"
1.I loved the feel of his dick inside me
2.Stop being such a dick
3.His name was Dick and he had a large Tubesteak Cock Penis Spam Javelin
1.I loved the feel of his dick inside me
2.Officer, you're being a real spam shaft.
3.His name was Dick and he had a large dick Tubesteak Cock Penis Spam Javelin
2.Officer, you're being a real spam shaft.
3.His name was Dick and he had a large dick Tubesteak Cock Penis Spam Javelin
by DedicatedkillerRPO April 13, 2009
Get the Spam Shaft mug.by Proffesor bryan August 31, 2010
Get the Bachlohm shaft mug.When someone forwards an email, meant for their eyes only, to a third party who is then pissed off at the author of said email. The author is then e-shafted.
by sirdalius May 13, 2011
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