Jesus Padilla

Jesus Padilla is an amazing friend. You can always count on Jesus, he is very understanding, he will help you or anyone in anything, he will always be there for you at anytime, he has a great heart, he is very hilarious too. When you meet Jesus you will love him forever. He has a badass,hot, and amazing voice. Jesus is a really fun person you will never get bored of. Jesus will make your mornings, evenings, and nights, the whole day. He is sweet and will make you feel very comfortable when you talk him. Jesus is also short, not that short though. He will always keep a smile in your face. Jesus is just the perfect friend to have. Jesus is also very handsome and very intelligent. If you know Jesus Padilla you should be very thankful to have him. Jesus Padilla is the definition of respect, intelligence, courageous, hilarious, sweet, and handsome.

Girl 1: guess what??

Girl 2: what??

Girl 1: Their is this guy I have been talkin for a big while and he is a great friend. You should meet him.

Girl2: what's his name??

Girl1: Jesus Padilla

by kimHOMIE555 December 21, 2013

coachella jesus

The purposeful inebriation durung 3 day music weekend, that it replicates the absence of the savior of Christianity.

Note- use of pre-meditated choice to inflict cognitive absence.

And, like main stream Christianity, there will be no proof that you really left at all.

“Bro, Featherweight Tyler went SO free-spiritedly high AF last weekend, he left reality Friday and came to Monday morn. He’s , like, Coachella Jesus” he resurrected himself.

by Craig Rasputin May 26, 2018

Jesus Christ

My nigga

Brian: My crew is big and it keeps getting bigga, that's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga

by grease_of_sandwich February 20, 2020

Meet Jesus

A metaphor for death. To meet Jesus is to die, be judged and then meet Jesus. You can meet Jesus by eating KFC (Kentucky From China), or from being unable to frigth back to your instain mother.

Plistinblitzen: I'm the bab
by gotta love me!
Gecock42069: time to kill the baby.
Plistinblitzen: oofenheimer, I have been did done did.
Alphanumeral: ok fux, I'm the only 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚one here so Lenny talk.
Gecock42069: you haven't gone to SUPRA BINYOT LANDE yet.
Plistinblitzen: *fucking dies*
Hodgepodgeman123: I'm with him. *Fucking dies*
Gecock42069: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Alphanumeral: I uhh.. need to go meet Jesus bye-bye!
Alphanumeral: *fucking dies*

by Lightwalker360 March 14, 2020

The Full Jesus

When a tan or latino man comes onto a woman by exposing his holy trinity: butthole, penis and testicle sack.

I heard Luis went nuts for that broad down the street. He stood outside her window and gave her The Full Jesus.

by juliush6969 May 19, 2020

because jesus

Used (usually sarcastically) to "explain" why homosexuality/LGBT/abortion/marijuana/brown people/citizens of countries other than the US/what have you is "bad".

Imaginary interviewer to Pat Robertson: "Why are you so opposed to the rapidly expanding normalization of non-traditional sex roles?"
Robertson: "Because Jesus."

by TheThroat October 4, 2017

slim jesus

a complete copy of Eminem (Slim Shady) with only one song that actually went viral a doesn't have any flow and is trash

person 1: hey
person 2: have you heard of the soundcloud rapper
person 1: which one
person 2: i forgot his name, but he is a total slim jesus
person 1: oh god

by swaggerblob November 12, 2017