Touching Jesus

Getting high, usually by using marijuana. Commonly misunderstood for masturbating.

Yo man I'm touching Jesus right now!
Gross.

Nah, i mean spiritually!
Oh nice bro!

by Derethad June 24, 2010

slim jesus

a complete copy of Eminem (Slim Shady) with only one song that actually went viral a doesn't have any flow and is trash

person 1: hey
person 2: have you heard of the soundcloud rapper
person 1: which one
person 2: i forgot his name, but he is a total slim jesus
person 1: oh god

by swaggerblob November 12, 2017

Jesus cock

A hard throbbing long veiny penis used for its Devine holiness women have tried killing themselfs choking on it. Jesus cock are blessed by all the sex gods the jesus cock is one with the universe

.....jesus cock

by She'llsquirtya September 14, 2018

Meet Jesus

A metaphor for death. To meet Jesus is to die, be judged and then meet Jesus. You can meet Jesus by eating KFC (Kentucky From China), or from being unable to frigth back to your instain mother.

Plistinblitzen: I'm the bab
by gotta love me!
Gecock42069: time to kill the baby.
Plistinblitzen: oofenheimer, I have been did done did.
Alphanumeral: ok fux, I'm the only 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 ㄒ卄丨匚匚one here so Lenny talk.
Gecock42069: you haven't gone to SUPRA BINYOT LANDE yet.
Plistinblitzen: *fucking dies*
Hodgepodgeman123: I'm with him. *Fucking dies*
Gecock42069: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Alphanumeral: I uhh.. need to go meet Jesus bye-bye!
Alphanumeral: *fucking dies*

by Lightwalker360 March 14, 2020

jesus sweat

A term used for a nigga that worships the ground the he himself walks on.

Look at this jesus sweat ass nigga Jared.

by blank space June 18, 2014

jesus grinding

Grinding on somebody while leaving enough room for Jesus

Stacy was jesus grinding joey so hard

by shelmich August 31, 2014

Jesus Padilla

Jesus Padilla is an amazing friend. You can always count on Jesus, he is very understanding, he will help you or anyone in anything, he will always be there for you at anytime, he has a great heart, he is very hilarious too. When you meet Jesus you will love him forever. He has a badass,hot, and amazing voice. Jesus is a really fun person you will never get bored of. Jesus will make your mornings, evenings, and nights, the whole day. He is sweet and will make you feel very comfortable when you talk him. Jesus is also short, not that short though. He will always keep a smile in your face. Jesus is just the perfect friend to have. Jesus is also very handsome and very intelligent. If you know Jesus Padilla you should be very thankful to have him. Jesus Padilla is the definition of respect, intelligence, courageous, hilarious, sweet, and handsome.

Girl 1: guess what??

Girl 2: what??

Girl 1: Their is this guy I have been talkin for a big while and he is a great friend. You should meet him.

Girl2: what's his name??

Girl1: Jesus Padilla

by kimHOMIE555 December 21, 2013