wank n shank

When you shank someone right after you rape them. Commonly used in prison situations.

Inmate 1: Did you hear about inmate 3?
Inmate 2: No, what happened?
Inmate 1: He attempted to do the ol' wank n shank

by that_one_guy1 June 2, 2016

Pokey bum wank

An act of masturbation where you put your legs over your head and poke yourself in the bum

I was going to have a pokey bum wank today but I'm going to Spencer's house

by Pls1234 February 3, 2017

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

Jaws-Mode Wank

A niche practice where a man will bite off his own penis for sexual gratification while imagining a drunken Robert Shaw singing.

Sky News now apologising for language in Dominic Cummings message accusing Boris Johnson of 'Jaws-mode wank'

by Humphrey the Cat October 31, 2023

Winnie the Pooh wank

The act of masturbating, while only wearing a tshirt, and being totally naked from the waste down. Made famous by Winnie The Pooh who never wore bottoms.

I had a Winnie The Pooh wank last night, tshirt on and nothing else.

by RichieBigTits December 14, 2022

Isaac Newton Wank

The act of wanking upside down for the objective of giving yourself a facial. The jizz acts like the Apple falling from the tree, gravity takes it course and hits the participant in the cranial area.

I had an Isaac Newton wank last night, glazed myself like a doughnut

by McLoopster August 20, 2018

Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021