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shit stories

stupid lies, rumors, gossip and made up stories that wusses and bullies tell themselves (and sometimes to others) in order to feel macho, 'informed' and powerful when in fact they are nothing but juvenile ignoramuses who go through life using 'big name' labels for other (different) people who have no idea what those words even mean. Shit stories are so ridiculous that nobody with any sense would believe them but these churlish idiots tell these things to themselves because they know they are losers.
1. Tom always shoots his mouth off in the locker room badmouthing football teams and rock groups that he knows nothing about. He always goes around telling shit stories about himself and he loves to put everyone else down. Everybody else in school is either a 'faggot', a 'nerd' or if it's a girl she's a 'bitch'. He's just a juvenile imbecile that nobody likes.
2. Donnie Douchebag Trump always talks shit stories about how women just love him, America loves him and now he says he's the 'chosen one'. He knows he's a jerk and in reality he cozies up to dictators and he loves to get his ass spanked by a ho.
by I Saw U2 Live Twice August 31, 2019
mugGet the shit storiesmug.

Shit Shuriken

The act of weaving a penis into a pretzel shape then stretching said penis to the rectum via the gooch to coat it in faeces. Then as the penis unravels itself, the faeces is used as a projectile towards the others in the room. Often used in orgy situations.
Orgy Member 1: Oh my god, Dylan's gonna do the "shit shuriken".
Orgy Member 2: Brace yourselves!
by Pikaster December 21, 2018
mugGet the Shit Shurikenmug.

Shit your pants

The worst thing that can ever happen to you
Guy 1: you shit your pants?
Guy 2: yeah
Guy 1: *laughs*
by Nonexistant 😔 😔 😔 April 24, 2022
mugGet the Shit your pantsmug.

Shit Bitch

A way of telling someone they're a bitch and not in a good way.
I love Ashley she is such as bitch, but I can't stand Marcy. She is a real shit bitch.
by DStanS October 1, 2017
mugGet the Shit Bitchmug.

oh shit stick

The handle located inside of passenger cars commonly grabbed onto when something goes wrong. Elderly sometimes use the oh shit stick to assist with entering or exiting cars.
I was ridding shotgun, and the driver was drunk. I grabbed the oh shit stick every time he hit the gas.
by cëllPirate November 16, 2021
mugGet the oh shit stickmug.

Shit

Stuff that comes out ur ass,
Used to describe something bad or shocking
Holy Shit! Jared just jumped a house naked.
"I walked into a pole" That's shitty (idk best example I can think of :P)
I shit my pants when Jared scared me
by DankPepe May 26, 2016
mugGet the Shitmug.

Can't have shit in

Can't have shit in is a phrase users say online, it has a US state after the "in" part (it varies with any state).

It originally started out after someone posted a picture of their house and their porch missing on Facebook captioning it with, "Opened the door 🚪 and fell I’m pissed 😤 Can’t have shit in Cincinnati mfs done stole my porch bra 😠". Someone then re-posted it and re-captioned it to ,"Someone stole my fucking porch . I opened my door an fell 🤦 ♂️ u can't have shit in Detroit". The "Can't have shit in" phrase spread like wildfire with it varying between US states/cities. It points to the fact that you can't have shit anywhere without some mf taking it even if it has the littlest value to it, it also points to the fact mfs will just steal the most obcure random thing.
Person 1: Nahhh bro mfs done took all the shingles off my roof
Person 2: Can't have shit in Detroit
by Iwantamommysooobad November 10, 2022
mugGet the Can't have shit inmug.

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