pull a jesus

verb: To act in such a way during sexual activities that one looks surprisingly akin to Jesus Christ on the cross. To do this, one lies motionless with arms spread, making out in such a way that it is commonly confused with gagging.

"I can't believe that Todd would pull a Jesus last night: I guess he was drunker than I thought"

by hugedick April 8, 2009

Jesus Juice

Cum

I want your jesus juice inside me

by KrispyKremePie May 29, 2018

team jesus

Derogatory term for Christian clubs and the like. Especially when directed at the evangelical sort.

Fuck! Here comes Team Jesus!

by Shtting Dicknipples September 17, 2003

jesus x

an easier faster way to type or say "jesus christ"

Jesus fucking x that was a gross video.

by runandwin September 5, 2005

Light of Jesus

When a player in Halo 2 or Halo 3 tricks a player to get close to him or her, and then throws a sticky grenade right onto the face of the player. This will make the view of the opposing player all bright from the light of the grenade. While throwing the grenade the player says "Light of Jesus" and then runs away.

I just Light of Jesus'ed that guy.

I am going to Light of Jesus this next player right in the face.

by squirrelfarmer38235 June 8, 2009

Smokable Jesus

Another name for marijuana. Aka: Pot, ganja, weed, etc.

Stoner #1: Dude, did you get some of that smokable Jesus?

Stoner #2: Yeah, dude! Let's get fucking ripped off our asses!

by Jebus of America April 13, 2009

Jesus Butter

Butter made from female human breast milk mixed with tea leaves for a smell that would delight the GODS

Would you like some Jesus Butter to go with that toast?

by Clubs February 17, 2013