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Brent Johnson

to fall under the definition of Brent Johnson, you must require the following:

- two missing toes
- good breath
- a paintbrush

- wine cellar

in stressful times you often won’t need a brent johnson as it will makes your ears bleed listening to the constant apologies for wanking on the job.

to avoid this situation, it is suggested that you staple his mouth shut and lock him in an elevator to ensure you don’t hear the word “sorry”
poem:

“this little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy got decapitated, and this little piggy survived”

- nursery rhyme by Brent Johnson
by gusgus69 December 6, 2024
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Jeremius Johnsonius

A term you can use when Jeremy Johnson becomes a fossil.
"Next exhibit, the Jeremius Johnsonius."
by theworldofurbanwords December 7, 2024
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Locke Johnson

Poker reference to an unbeatable hand
when you're playing cards and you realize that the possible hands that beat yours amount to zero, you drive like there's no tomorrow for Locke Johnson takes it all
by pinokeyoh December 8, 2024
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Ryan Johnson

A perfect man with a big ass, but small dick caused by being raised between Alabama and Florida
by Hellhound77 February 6, 2024
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SHIMMER JOHNSON

The act of a man with excessively salvaging saliva glands deep throats another man's dick and when he takes the dick from his mouth the thick mucus his gland produced leaves a coat of high gloss shimmer from which the johnson is adorned.
The man slapped himself in the face with Allans dick and then took it so deep in his throat his dick was given a shimmer johnson.
by Justin William Kennedy February 23, 2024
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the Johnson Paradox

The Johnson Paradox is a phenomenon where a group of people love and support an individual, despite that individual lying repeatedly and showing the utmost corruption and hypocrisy in their daily life.

The individual might also be completely in contempt of their supporters and morally destitute, but the supporters cannot see the individual for what they are and support them regardless.
Reasonable Person 1: "So he lied to everyone and was forced out of office by his own party, yet when he returned yesterday, he was met with thunderous applause?"
Reasonable Person 2: "It's the Johnson Paradox in effect."
by HypocrisySanctimony July 3, 2024
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Ma johnson

Noun

to refer to ones penis without context. Inserted randomly in a conversation.
Person A: hey where do you want to eat.
Person B: Ma johnson.
by glub_tubbus_wepple July 12, 2024
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