January 1st 

National ‘Stop making Aimie so angry she wants to smash her head against a mirror and then chew on the glass fragments embedded in her skin’ Day

‘Damn, its January 1st, let’s all stop pissing Aimie off and making her want to resort to misanthropy’

January 1st by pettyshit.com January 1, 2023

january 2 

national give a girl your hoodie day

girl: give me your hoodie
guy: why
girl: it’s january 2
guy: oh fuck

january 2 by kfreehill January 1, 2023

January 31st 

National fumble (lose) the prettiest and funniest and best girl you’ve ever met day!

“Omg I left her on read, Good thing it’s January 31st National fumble the best girl you’ll ever meet day!”

“I left her on open today because it’s January 31st”

“I lost the best girl ever on January 31st, I’ll never meet another like her”

January 31st by HomieMacaroni January 2, 2023

January 9

If on January 9th you have someone who follows the criteria of :

Being offended by everything

Named Joel

Is a Femboy
Then, according to law (trust me), you are legally allowed to beat the shit out of them

God isn’t Joel getting offended like always today. Wait isn’t it January 9th, get him boys

January 9 by Tuff Golem>Sniffer January 2, 2023

January 9

National kiss your girlfriend day

Hey man, its january 9th! Make sure you kiss you girlfriend and tell her you love her today.

January 9 by Ameliaw199 January 4, 2023

January Shitx 

The day in 2021 when protesters/supporters of Donald Trump engaged in an insurrection attack at the capitol.

That was on January Shitx, we will never forget that.

January Shitx by Zero2infinity January 6, 2023

January 7th 

January 7th, The day we celebrate to show our love to Tasuki! The Living Piano himself! What a legend. Even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson celebrates this holiday!

OH! OH ME, OH MY IT'S NATIONAL TASUKI APPRECIATION DAY!!! January 7th!!

January 7th by Zorkith (Bryce) January 6, 2023