Jehovah's Witness

a person who believes in Jehovah the Only God, and tries to save lifes just like Jesus and his disciples in the first century.

I'd really like to learn about the Bible with a Jehovah's Witness

by kattttt May 18, 2006

Jehovah's Witnesses Zone

A long stretch of houses (at least one block) without any Christmas lights, the absence of which suggests the possibility of there being a large concentration of Jehovah's Witnesses living in that area.

Person 1: Do you want to drive down that street?

Person 2: Nah, nobody has any lights up; must be a Jehovah's Witnesses Zone.

by Danny Mew December 27, 2011

Jehovah's Witnesses

Wicked evil people who show up on your doorstep at 3 in the morning and ask stupid questions such as (Note: the proper responses are listed below questions):

1. Have you found Jesus?
PR: Why NO. Why don't you come in and help me look for him? Sumbitch must be around here somewhere!
2. Would you like a copy of Watchtower?
PR: Thank you sir/madam. I needed some more kindling. (take publication, walk over to fireplace, and throw it in).
3. Would you like to donate to our ministry here in (insert town here)?
PR: I would but I am opposed to A. Panhandling B. Government Controlled Religious freaks.

Man them damned Jehovah's Witnesses came knockin again this morning.

What'd you do bro?

Answered the door naked.

by Unholy Jester121 September 5, 2009

witness

Something Jehovah has too much of.

Christians don't go advertising their beliefs door-to-door at 7 in the morning.

by Bastardized Bottomburp October 6, 2003

Jehovah's Witnesses

A religious sect of Christianity, now deemed a cult, that spreads itself to as many people as possible. Claiming the end of the world is nearing, they say it is their duty to preach to all to save them. Only Jehovah's Witnesses will survive the end. Though they may seem peaceful, nice and loving, "hardcore" Jehovah's Witnesses are infact nearly terrorist, violent, hateful, racist and overall, disgusting people. They spread anti-semitism, believe in hating the United States, Israel, the United Nations and homosexuals. They previously have been on 20/20 for sexual molestation charges within the church. They are one step lower than terrorist extremeists and preach many falsehoods that they cannot backup. The horrors do not stop there, as charges of molstation and racism are only the beginning. Along with those come, trespassing, assault, harassment, battery, terrorism, manslaughter and hate crimes. They believe in not accepting vital medical help such as organ transplants and blood transfusions and if a JW parent's child is critically injured and needs such a medical treatment, the religion prohibits it. The child, even if could be saved and fully recover, is told they must die.

I got visited by Jehovahs Witnesses today, they tried blocking me from shutting the door on them.

Those damn Jehovah's Witnesses keep harassing me every weekend.

Quick! Shut the door and lock it, the Jehovahs Witnesses are coming. Call the police!

by Liberation June 9, 2007

Jehovah's Witnesses

Crazy fools who suck all the joy from life and will try to sneak in under the radar and do the same to you.

Me: Hey, can I have a random wheel barrel of fruit and vegetables too?
JW:No! You're Methodist and an impure demon!

by Kruger December 31, 2004

witness

someone who stays around for a friend so they don't get kidnapped and or raped by a rando.

Margaret I will be your witness, that dude is mad shiesty.

by Margoballsacks May 19, 2010