Jesus Christ was born from the Virgin Mary. When he was a young boy, he was contacted by God and notified that he was the Son of God. In order to impress his father, he strived to have a book written about him. He was kind, generous, polite, and courteous to everyone he met, but this just wasn't good enough to inspire a biography. So one day, Jesus was baking bread to feed some local villagers who had no food. While Jesus was turned away from his oven, God zapped the bread, instantly turning it into enough bacon to feed Jesus' entire village. Until that day, bacon was a food that was only available in Heaven. However, mortals did not know of the existence of bacon, as many would have committed suicide in an attempt to get it. When Jesus took the bacon out of his oven, the smell instantly attracted anyone within a 10-mile radius. Jesus' house was almost instantly crowded with people, including, to his good fortune, some authors. The authors, immediately after tasting the bacon, said that they would write a whole book about him, and that one day he would be revered as the messiah of an entire religion. He didn't believe them at the time, but his skepticism was later adjourned. Everyone who tasted the bacon that was not an author became one of Jesus' followers, now known as Christians. Don't believe the farmer's lies....This is how bacon came to earth.
Hard Working Husband: What are you cooking woman?
Submissive Wife: Just some bacon Your Lordship
Hard Working Husband: JESUS CHRIST! BACON! THAT STUFF IS GODLY!!!
Submissive Wife: Just some bacon Your Lordship
Hard Working Husband: JESUS CHRIST! BACON! THAT STUFF IS GODLY!!!
by Addiego April 27, 2010
by michaellover June 20, 2011
a large,white trash woman who sexually attacks men when they are intoxicated/sleeping. She usually requests bacon and OJ in the morning. called the "baconator" cause nobody knows her real name.
by sillyface111 May 06, 2010
A baconator is a big red pussy. As popularized by the Wendy's commercial, when you are in an easy chair and a hot red-haired girl crams her clam into/onto your face, you are face deep in a baconator.
"Dude sorry I couldn't smoke last night, I was face deep in a baconator."
"I'd love to be face deep in a baconator."
"I don't like baconators, I prefer dicks."
"I'd love to be face deep in a baconator."
"I don't like baconators, I prefer dicks."
by atlho August 13, 2012
Meaty strips of porky goodness which take far to long to prepare compared to how much of it you get, but daaaaamn, it's worth it.
For health reasons, I tried to cut back on bacon by living without it for one month.
I was not a happy camper that month.
I was not a happy camper that month.
by Bowes November 26, 2005
by tlaffer December 16, 2009