Apple? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of idiot do you have to be to search for something as basic and boring as an apple? "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"? More like "an apple a day keeps the excitement away". Apples are the ultimate symbol of mediocrity and conformity, the kind of thing that people eat when they're too lazy or too cheap to try something new.
And don't even get me started on the "health benefits" of apples. Sure, they might have some vitamins and fiber or whatever, but they're also loaded with sugar and carbs, which will rot your teeth and make you fat. Plus, have you ever heard of cyanide? Yeah, that's right, apples contain a toxic chemical that can kill you if you eat too many of them. So much for keeping the doctor away, huh?
But hey, if you're really into apples, then go ahead and eat them. Just don't expect me to be impressed. There are so many other exciting and delicious fruits out there - mangoes, pineapples, passion fruit, you name it. But no, you just had to search for fucking apples. Congratulations, you're officially the most boring person on the planet.
And don't even get me started on the "health benefits" of apples. Sure, they might have some vitamins and fiber or whatever, but they're also loaded with sugar and carbs, which will rot your teeth and make you fat. Plus, have you ever heard of cyanide? Yeah, that's right, apples contain a toxic chemical that can kill you if you eat too many of them. So much for keeping the doctor away, huh?
But hey, if you're really into apples, then go ahead and eat them. Just don't expect me to be impressed. There are so many other exciting and delicious fruits out there - mangoes, pineapples, passion fruit, you name it. But no, you just had to search for fucking apples. Congratulations, you're officially the most boring person on the planet.
Wow, look at this genius over here, searching for fucking apples like it's some kind of culinary masterpiece. Newsflash, buddy - an apple a day might keep the doctor away, but it won't do shit for your taste buds. Go ahead and enjoy your bland, boring fruit while the rest of us indulge in something actually delicious.
by ValuableDamage42 April 11, 2023
Get the Applemug. Person 1: I shoved an apple up my ass yesterday
Person 2: *internally screams and kills themself*
Person 3: What has the world come to *cries like a chicken*
Person 2: *internally screams and kills themself*
Person 3: What has the world come to *cries like a chicken*
by She shit on my dick April 17, 2017
Get the applemug. That one company that pretends to innovate in the tech world, but in reality they make mediocre stuff and they pretend it's magic. Ya know, that one popular phone manufacturer
They also really excel at making their stuff harder to repair each year!
They also really excel at making their stuff harder to repair each year!
Amy: I just bought an Apple Iphone for the tenth year in a row because considering anything else would be too hard.
by The Palm June 11, 2020
Get the Applemug. ME: HEY GUY IS AN APPLE A FRUIT OR A VEGETABLE
GUY: ITS A VEGETABLE
ME:*SAYS INTO MICROPHONE “TAKE THE SHOT, HE IS BAD”*
GUY:WHAT!?
GUY :*GETS SHOT*
GUY: ITS A VEGETABLE
ME:*SAYS INTO MICROPHONE “TAKE THE SHOT, HE IS BAD”*
GUY:WHAT!?
GUY :*GETS SHOT*
by Hey I’m an apple a fruit March 15, 2019
Get the APPLEmug. 
by Avocado And Caitie July 22, 2019
Get the APPLEmug. A species from the planet Spacet Ree in a galaxy roughly translated to Fuck Shit Fuck Cunt Crap. They can reproduce asexually, but have the ability to mate with nearly every known species in the known universe. They have three races: red, yellow, and green, but they can be mixed. They have existed long before the earth had formed, and the apples colonized that planet before humans existed. Their gender can be found by the number of seeds found inside. 0to10 is female, and 11to-0 is male. An apple invented a technique to harness the energy from the mitochondrion to perform extreme tasks in the event that oxygen and nitrogen are not present in the body. They prefer temperatures around -35°F because that is the temperature they are used to, but they speed up and slow down the vibrations of their molecules to match the environment around them. They have been in a near constant state of war for the past fifty trillion years because of a senator messed up a trade route.
An apple landed on Mars 16 1/2 years ago, accidentally insulted the king of the Martian goblins, and was sentenced to anti mercy.
by Doctr Garlick 7248 March 3, 2020
Get the Applemug.