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Apologize

I wouldn't even know to whom I should be apologizing nor for what I should be apologizing.
Hym "I'm sorry for openly stating that I totally see why people want and/or seek out to kill you and/or your kids (in the context of my experiences with people who are not me). I'm sorry that you are not an authority to which I can be held accountable. I'm sorry that your behavior is not the direct result of my behavior. To believe that YOUR BEHAVIOR... Is the result of my behavior... Is to insinuate that I somehow both control your behavior... And did it wrong in such an egregious fashion... That I now need to cede authority over my own behavior... To you... Indefinitely... And, in contradictory fashion, I also DON'T control your behavior... Because I cannot and should not be able to stop you from behaving as you are now... Nor am I justified in seeking to affect your behavior... Because I'm only allow to control your behavior by doing things you don't like and then allowing you to use your behavior as social punishment... But I'm NOT ALLOWED to control your behavior by telling you what you can or cannot do... And I'm going to apologize one last time... Because... If you believe anything even VAGUELY ANALOGOUS to what I just said... You... ARE IN FACT... AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING RETARD! That is a Schrodinger's box-esque narcissistic delusion where I am both in control of how you behave and not in control of how you behave."
by Hym Iam August 28, 2023
mugGet the Apologizemug.

Cole apology

When someone disrespects you then, then out of fear quickly apologises before you could retaliate.
Bruh really disrespected me in front of my friends and made a cole apology like that would settle everything... Little did he know I don't let shit slide.
by Pmdefine21 April 12, 2024
mugGet the Cole apologymug.

Apology

Ha! I wouldn't ever give you one.
Hym "You're not getting it are you? There is nothing for me to be sorry for. An apology for what? Seriously! You fucking idiots are absolute dogshit and your fuck-ass kids don't absolve you of that. And if you weren't so solipsistic and delusional, some of these other kids would still be alive. That's the real impetus behind this absurdist filibuster. You're throwing around a lot of 'joke' and 'prank' and 'trolling' rhetoric and I bet that's the excuse you use when the moderators aren't around to shield you. 'I thought it was a poggers troll incel gyatt bbl rizzler guys! It's not MY fault! It's HYM!' But everyone knows it's a lie."
by Hym Iam May 18, 2025
mugGet the Apologymug.

apologize

it stands for like sorry o another person
by BABYTREYTREYY September 16, 2022
mugGet the apologizemug.

Apology Umbrella

A declaration of apology stated by the individual preceding future infractions. Most commonly used in romantic relationships to excuse derogatory comments, masochistic tendencies, and general inconsiderations to avoid denial of sexual intercourse.
She was mad when I slapped her ass in front of my boys, but I used my Apology Umbrella so I'm still gonna tap that tonight.
by Macon Love April 26, 2011
mugGet the Apology Umbrellamug.

rapist's apology

When someone "apologizes" by saying something along the lines of "I don't remember doing this/it happening like that, but if I did do that I'm sorry."
Basically it's when someone fakes their way out of an apology so they can feel better about themselves.
"Did you confront Amy about what she said about you?"
"Yeah, she tried to get out of it with a rapist's apology but I didn't let her get away with it."
by maraspopheacj July 28, 2018
mugGet the rapist's apologymug.

Hancock apology

To make an apology for something relatively insubstantial, even mostly irrelevant, while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge something more grievous.

Bonus points if the apology is insultingly insincere and the apologist demands privacy and respect.

Named after Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care of the UK, who was filmed having an extramarital romantic liaison - kissing and groping - an aide he personally hired. Hancock refused to acknowledge the romantic and sexual element of this interaction and, instead, chose to apologise for "breaching social distancing guidelines." He then asked for privacy for this "personal matter", alluding to the alleged affair sighted, while completely refusing to acknowledge the affair.
Jane: "You cheated on me over 15 years, murdered my mother, and stole all of my money. Why did you do all of this, you wasteman?"

Matt: "To invoke the Hancock apology, I am sorry that I ate all of your green Gummy Bear sweets. It was very wrong of me and I apologise. I would now like you to respect my privacy on this personal matter."
by BroJayDee June 26, 2021
mugGet the Hancock apologymug.

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