Hym "I'm sorry for openly stating that I totally see why people want and/or seek out to kill you and/or your kids (in the context of my experiences with people who are not me). I'm sorry that you are not an authority to which I can be held accountable. I'm sorry that your behavior is not the direct result of my behavior. To believe that YOUR BEHAVIOR... Is the result of my behavior... Is to insinuate that I somehow both control your behavior... And did it wrong in such an egregious fashion... That I now need to cede authority over my own behavior... To you... Indefinitely... And, in contradictory fashion, I also DON'T control your behavior... Because I cannot and should not be able to stop you from behaving as you are now... Nor am I justified in seeking to affect your behavior... Because I'm only allow to control your behavior by doing things you don't like and then allowing you to use your behavior as social punishment... But I'm NOT ALLOWED to control your behavior by telling you what you can or cannot do... And I'm going to apologize one last time... Because... If you believe anything even VAGUELY ANALOGOUS to what I just said... You... ARE IN FACT... AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING RETARD! That is a Schrodinger's box-esque narcissistic delusion where I am both in control of how you behave and not in control of how you behave."
by Hym Iam August 28, 2023
Get the Apologizemug. After upsetting your hot headed fella (usually Latino) or saying/doing something to disrespect him. You apologise by offering your arse and taking it up the bum. All is then forgiven.
"Valeria upset me the other day, disrespected my wife while we were at it. Was about to lose my shit but she gave me a Colombian apology to calm me down. Wasn't mad at her anymore after that."
by Fookem August 10, 2021
Get the Colombian apologymug. Apology accepted! It sounded sincere. You don't have to grovel at my feet or nothing but... I have been known to accept whore sacrifices.
by Hym Iam January 25, 2023
Get the Apologymug. by DrappingDino January 25, 2021
Get the Apologizing daymug. When you are famous and you did something wrong and want to apologize you go on a series of podcasts and explain a lot of stuff to them basically you talk shit with them so you would not get hated
by Stanke December 5, 2022
Get the Apology tourmug. <.7.9.7.6.>I, ANgel Jose RObles Apologizes For Brothering THe Detective comic's Character Called "'Poison'"and I, Angel Jose Robles Will Not Bother THe character again<.7.9.7.6.>
<.7.9.7.6.>I, ANgel Jose RObles Apologizes For Brothering THe Detective comic's Character Called "'Poison'"and I, Angel Jose Robles Will Not Bother THe character again<.7.9.7.6.>
by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 17, 2025
Get the <.7.9.7.6.>I, ANgel Jose RObles Apologizes For Brothering THe Detective comic's Character Called "'Poison'"and I, Angel Jose Robles Will Not Bother THe character again<.7.9.7.6.>mug. To make an apology for something relatively insubstantial, even mostly irrelevant, while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge something more grievous.
Bonus points if the apology is insultingly insincere and the apologist demands privacy and respect.
Named after Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care of the UK, who was filmed having an extramarital romantic liaison - kissing and groping - an aide he personally hired. Hancock refused to acknowledge the romantic and sexual element of this interaction and, instead, chose to apologise for "breaching social distancing guidelines." He then asked for privacy for this "personal matter", alluding to the alleged affair sighted, while completely refusing to acknowledge the affair.
Bonus points if the apology is insultingly insincere and the apologist demands privacy and respect.
Named after Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care of the UK, who was filmed having an extramarital romantic liaison - kissing and groping - an aide he personally hired. Hancock refused to acknowledge the romantic and sexual element of this interaction and, instead, chose to apologise for "breaching social distancing guidelines." He then asked for privacy for this "personal matter", alluding to the alleged affair sighted, while completely refusing to acknowledge the affair.
Jane: "You cheated on me over 15 years, murdered my mother, and stole all of my money. Why did you do all of this, you wasteman?"
Matt: "To invoke the Hancock apology, I am sorry that I ate all of your green Gummy Bear sweets. It was very wrong of me and I apologise. I would now like you to respect my privacy on this personal matter."
Matt: "To invoke the Hancock apology, I am sorry that I ate all of your green Gummy Bear sweets. It was very wrong of me and I apologise. I would now like you to respect my privacy on this personal matter."
by BroJayDee June 26, 2021
Get the Hancock apologymug.