Joking my ass

Joking my ass - something so Preposterous that my ass isn’t confident with the premise. Therefore if Jacob says I done caught 5 alligator last night… Jacob your joking my ass!

Mike done fucked sally!
Wait wait hold up you joking my ass ?

Joking my ass by Big daddy 29 July 13, 2022

fuck my ass 

1. An exclamation uttered after an unfortunate turn of events or a negative outcome; can be used ironically for a positive outcome, though this is less common

2. A phrase utilized when lost in thought, or when memory fails you

3. An open invitation for anyone listening to play pop goes the weasel in your cornhole

"Check engine light? Fuck my ass, just what I wanted to see."

"L'see.. loaf of bread, taters, milk.. fuck my ass, what else am I forgetting?"

"Fuck my ass. No seriously, please insert any and all objects into my nether regions."

fuck my ass by ahnaanemiss September 30, 2012

chaps my ass

When a certain person , place, situation , idea or task is very unpleasant ,distasteful, and in general pisses you off.

"This new supervisor is is revamping all of my work!!!

That fucking chaps my ass." OR " that fucker shorted me on my check!!!! That REALLY chaps my ass. OR" That bitch lied and skipped the pill!!!!THAT REALLY REALLY CHAPS MY ASS!!!!

chaps my ass by goddamner January 29, 2010

Eat my ass 

Means anything that you don't really want to do that someone wants you to do.

Hey man, why don't you come to the gym later? And I told him, why don't you eat my ass?

Eat my ass by The real slim shady 907 May 15, 2016

Eat my ass 

Shoving your face into one's backside and licking, sucking, or biting down on one's ass/asshole.

Me: Hey Jack, wanna eat my ass? I'm wet right now.
Jack: Hell yeah! How do you want it done? Hard or soft?
Me: I'm feeling hard, I want your tongue all in there.

Eat my ass by idomemesforfun October 29, 2017

pull that out of my ass 

Verb. To make up a completely untruthful story. To invent a story. To tell an untruthful story. To construct a story out of lies. To lie.

"Mark is such a liar, he told me a story how has to take care of his sick grandma last weekend, he totally pull that out of his ass!"
"I've told my girlfriend that I'm from France and I'm here on a student visa, I totally pull that out of my ass, I haven't even been to France."

pull that out of my ass by a66spam July 25, 2015

eat cheese and crawl up my ass 

A comeback to eat shit and die that will leave the original speaker speechless.
First heard in Boston in 1978 and never forgotten.

Peter: Eat shit and die!
Brenda: Eat cheese and crawl up my ass!
Peter: ...

eat cheese and crawl up my ass by DrSamba December 15, 2008