Lance

The Lance I know is a relatively good guy. He knows how to make you laugh and you can normally tell if he likes someone. He has downsides; he can be very mean for seemingly no reason, he’s not a very good boyfriend, and he’s very inappropriate. He’s kind of self centered sometimes, but if he likes you he will try his best to make you feel good about yourself. He is obsessed with video games, particulate Fortnite, but that’s to be expected. He’s a jock and is very athletic, but is very arrogant. He gets outshined by his best friends sometimes and so if you ever find yourself in a relationship with him, just be there for him. He’ll return the favor. Don’t do him wrong, though. You will deeply regret it for the rest of your days and you will miss the relationship, friend or more, that you had. Forever. Hold on to him and don’t let go, no matter how conceited or rude he gets. At the end of the day, his heart is in the right place. He has feelings too, as much he tries to show otherwise.

You like Lance?! Why?

I played Fortnite last night with Lance.
He beat me.

Lance just roasted me.

by Crazy_walrus April 27, 2019

Sir Lancetwat

A lame name to use when a girl you're trying to pick up asks your name. Most often results in rejection.

Girl: "Hey you're cute... what's your name?"
Guy: "Sir Lancetwat."
*SMACK*

by W. E. Toddit July 9, 2004

The devil's lance

When a male decides to give a particular lady very happy. He first gets an erection, but then things get really crazy. He takes a hot liquid, ex. hot coffee, and pours it onto his fully erect member. The coffee causes the penis to swell to gargantuan size and turn red, thus appearing as the penis of the devil himself. The female should almost instantly want to fuck her man because it is quite a sacrifice on his part, as it is quite painful. The proceed to have sexual intercourse, and the lady is particularly pleased.

Topher wanted to give his girlfriend a treat for her birthday, so he made a pot of coffee and performed the devil's lance.

by Topher4life November 9, 2009

Lance Armstrong

A great but overrated cyclist. Seven Time winner of the Tour De France. Often called the greatest cyclist ever by passive American cycling fans that have never heard of Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault, Fausto Coppi or Miguel Indurain. Merckx and many others went on to race in hundreds of races while Armstrong focused on the Tour. His only other races were often training for the Tour at Tour de Georgia or Dauphiné Libéré. Merckx raced every race to win. Lance often was just training for the tour and along with his contemporaries would not take the risk seen in the Coppi-Merckx Era.

LA Fan: Lance Armstrong is the greatest cyclist ever!

Reality: No way dude. Eddy Merckx or Coppi.

LA fan. Who? you're crazy!

Facts: Merckx! Cycling was around before 1999. Merckx won 525 races and won the Giro D' Italia and Tour de France five times. Lance only talked about racing the Giro. Never even showed and has never ridden in most of the Classics like Paris-Roubaix which Merckx won three times. Also never attempted the Hour Record as he hinted on for years. A record for which Merckx is the standard.

LA fan: But Lance won the Tour De Georgia.

Reality: Dumbass!

by Paris-Roubaix January 27, 2008

Lance Hardwood

Mentioned in the television series How I Met Your Mother by Ted. Lance Hardwood is an everyday name that parents may choose to abandon their baby to an orphanage and leave a note saying that their name is Lance Hardwood, therefore ruining said child's life for ever and ever. This has been done time and time again with other names such as; Mike Clitoris, Hugh Jass, Mike Hock, Yurik Hunt. Spelling may vary. "On an completely unrelated note, all names mentioned above are often used by pornstar."

"Hey man did you see Lance Hardwood last night?"
"The pornstar???"
"Naw man, Lance Hardwood the reported."

by Jacques Lolz January 11, 2010

lance bass

A member from nysnc that always looks a little to happy. Made a big deal about going to space but in the end pulled out because sponsors didn't want to send more airless matter into space.

Sponsor- "We should of sent Lance to space because there is a good chance he might get sucked up by a black hole."

by jlau July 30, 2005

Lance

Lance is the best person in the world.
He's artistic, has beautiful eyes, he plays the piano, goes to church, loves his family, you won't find anyone better.
He's absolutely gorgeous inside, and out.
He's so genuine, and he'd wait for the special girl forever.
If you find one, never let him go.
He'll always be faithful, and while not many people get to see it, he has the most beautiful heart in the world, and once he lets you in, once he loves you, you'll be with him forever.
He's the man that one day, you'll marry and have kids with. You couldn't find anyone better.
He's the one who you would never leave.

Girl one: Hey, have you met that new guy?
Girl two: There's a new guy?
Girl one: Yeah, he's a Lance.
Girl two: Oh! I have to meet him!

by Eli the proud owner of a Lance October 27, 2011