An increasingly large minority in the UK, Chavs are often found outside McDonald's by day, occasionally entering to buy 99p cheeseburgers to feed their colony. They are also sometimes found in parks and on benches, especially during mating season. Mating calls typically sound like:
"You got a problem wiv it bruv?"
"OOOOOOOOh! OOOOOOOOOH!"
"We all got swag innit?"
Once a chav has found a chavette mate, typically chosen by how orange her skin is, he will use his aggressive benefits abuse to buy a clapped out Vauxhall Corsa, fit it with mufflers and false alloys, and use it to ease the burden of migration to the corner store every morning, whereupon he will buy a six pack of beer and head on down to McDonald's to meet up with the rest of the pack.
But it is the evening where the chav becomes most notorious. They are known as nocturnal hunters, found on streets late at night and preying upon those who are alone and vulnerable. Once a target has been spotted, the pack will converge upon it, steal all of its valuables and leave Unlike a pack of wolves, however, chavs are well known cowards and rarely operate alone.
By the time the chav is in his mid twenties, he will probably have a small litter of chav children. They will live off benefits, growing in size and weight until it is time for school. The parent will neglect the journey to school and so the child's life becomes too certain. By the time said child is 11, It will be adopted into the chav lifestyle.
"You got a problem wiv it bruv?"
"OOOOOOOOh! OOOOOOOOOH!"
"We all got swag innit?"
Once a chav has found a chavette mate, typically chosen by how orange her skin is, he will use his aggressive benefits abuse to buy a clapped out Vauxhall Corsa, fit it with mufflers and false alloys, and use it to ease the burden of migration to the corner store every morning, whereupon he will buy a six pack of beer and head on down to McDonald's to meet up with the rest of the pack.
But it is the evening where the chav becomes most notorious. They are known as nocturnal hunters, found on streets late at night and preying upon those who are alone and vulnerable. Once a target has been spotted, the pack will converge upon it, steal all of its valuables and leave Unlike a pack of wolves, however, chavs are well known cowards and rarely operate alone.
By the time the chav is in his mid twenties, he will probably have a small litter of chav children. They will live off benefits, growing in size and weight until it is time for school. The parent will neglect the journey to school and so the child's life becomes too certain. By the time said child is 11, It will be adopted into the chav lifestyle.
RUTTING CHAV: "fuck off you wanker is my turn" "No it bloody well isn't" (fight ensues) "ow fuck off mate thats my stomach you just shanked"
MATING CALLS: "OOOOOOH!" "arright love lets fuck this bench ey"
MUGGING: "lets shank and fuck this old bitch up ey" "Give us yer purse or wee fuck you up real good arright?"
FLEEING FROM THE LAW: "Ayyy its the bloody cops run" "eyyy shit theys onto us lads" "Ow duck he got me boys"
AT HOME: "yeah im going on COD Ghosts, bought with the Xbox One using the taxpayer's money"
MATING CALLS: "OOOOOOH!" "arright love lets fuck this bench ey"
MUGGING: "lets shank and fuck this old bitch up ey" "Give us yer purse or wee fuck you up real good arright?"
FLEEING FROM THE LAW: "Ayyy its the bloody cops run" "eyyy shit theys onto us lads" "Ow duck he got me boys"
AT HOME: "yeah im going on COD Ghosts, bought with the Xbox One using the taxpayer's money"
by King Horace IV December 31, 2013
Get the Chav mug.A ‘Chav’ is someone who smokes weed at kfc car park 24/7. They have lost their virginity at the age of 10-13 and wears fake designer clothes like North Face. Most of chavs live in Devon, Paignton.
by Paigntonisachavvyplace May 23, 2018
Get the Chav mug.by Katie hopkin's cat July 21, 2020
Get the Chav mug.by Big dragon January 21, 2015
Get the Chav mug.A person unworthy of basic human rights and are also probably unaware of such things. Their innate abilities are formed early in life, when they develop skills such as stealing, which progresses into full blown robbery of the taxpayer when they come of age to spawn offspring. Though they have been considered vile creatures in the last decade, the past few years have seen the chav become a stylish social class and members of the chav cult have been renowned for relying on mainstream media to know of their news, music, etc. Celebrities and 'pop' stars are also responsible for producing chavs with their disgusting art. Indeed, the chav has truly evolved into a body of persons who believe themselves glamour deities and socialites. If it weren't for their inability to use their brain and think for themselves, chavs would be an almost acceptable spectacle to society. Numbers of chavs have improved with social media as well, using sites such as facebook, twitter and others to share their repugnant exploits with the world.
"Hey Becky, have you got yer Juicy trackies and rollers yet?"
"Waiting on them."
"You're such a chav." The first girl says, listening to her pop music and texting her 'older' more 'mature' boyfriend who reckons he's all 'ard' using her blackberry bold.
"Waiting on them."
"You're such a chav." The first girl says, listening to her pop music and texting her 'older' more 'mature' boyfriend who reckons he's all 'ard' using her blackberry bold.
by Eddie Keller November 29, 2013
Get the Chav mug.Basically the people who are left behind in society in Britain, they often wear the same tracksuits and stuff, they might either have a Cex drawstring bag around them or a JD sports drawstring bag around them. They can be kinda racist too, I was once told to “go back to my country” by chav, chavs made up most of the BNP voters and a lot of EDL supporters were chavs, there is such thing as football chavs to which are basically chavs but there insanely into football
by Leomclaren April 28, 2021
Get the Chav mug.a UK term similar to "White Trash" in the US describing an increasingly large segment of society.Used initially to describe poor people on benefits/welfare trying to "fake" affluence in a vulgar and tacky way, it has evolved to describe all such people independent of income level.
you are a chav if;
- you adopt fashion whether or not it suits you or is appropriate
- you wear too much make up usually trying but failing to hide bad skin
- you have a tramp stamp,are vagazzeled Or have lips injected so you look like a trout
- you wear lots of often orange make up frequently to try and cover up bad skin
-you drive a BMW or Range Rover that you can barely afford,lease and are typically one late payment away from
repossession.
- You talk about "fine dining" and consider a holiday destination More than 3 hours away "exotic"
- you think fake tans,new tits and logos will make you feel better about yourself.
- your clothes are a couple of sizes too small but your handbag is much too large and with an even bigger logo.
-you think WAGs and Reality TV people are stars
- you adopt fashion whether or not it suits you or is appropriate
- you wear too much make up usually trying but failing to hide bad skin
- you have a tramp stamp,are vagazzeled Or have lips injected so you look like a trout
- you wear lots of often orange make up frequently to try and cover up bad skin
-you drive a BMW or Range Rover that you can barely afford,lease and are typically one late payment away from
repossession.
- You talk about "fine dining" and consider a holiday destination More than 3 hours away "exotic"
- you think fake tans,new tits and logos will make you feel better about yourself.
- your clothes are a couple of sizes too small but your handbag is much too large and with an even bigger logo.
-you think WAGs and Reality TV people are stars
by Notkimk December 2, 2014
Get the Chav mug.