Beerfort Scale

A tangible measure of sea roughness in a storm defined by the movement of your beer on the bar of your North Sea ferry to Amsterdam

Blimey mate, I reckon it's beerfort scale 8 tonight, I had to be like Joe Root in the slips to catch that Moretti!!

by Crookesie December 27, 2023

55 scale

A rating scale where the first digit rates the face and second digit rates the body

On the 55 scale, She or he was a 35 (average face and unbelievable body

by Jim “Bigs” M. January 24, 2024

The Scarlet Pimpinel

A late-18th-century "double life" dude who pretended to be just a faceless British aristocrat, but in reality would secretly go around treating people's illnesses with herbal remedies, rather than the mainstream "drugs and surgery" methods.

Baroness Orczy always looked quite good, so perhaps she herself was treated by The Scarlet Pimpinel; maybe she even wrote the book about him as a gratitude gesture for his helping to keep her in good health.

by QuacksO August 18, 2024

Kinsey Scale

The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:

0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual

The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.

I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?

There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.

by bitchuck August 24, 2024

nice scale

the nice 1-10

"Your nice scale 10"

by puorple April 25, 2024

COBBS scale

Cavernous Openings and Bottomless Buttholes is the scale used to measure the largest of sphincters. It is the named the COBBS scale after the largest anus ever found. It is the top end of the scale. The small side of the scale is Klosed Coccyx and goes up. The measurement starts when the subject starts to leave stainZ in their underwear.

The term is also used in spelunking because many caves are smaller than the COBBS scale measures.

That gay porn star is so used up they had to use the COBBS scale to measure for a butt plug.

by P. Seudo Nym May 6, 2024

COBBS scale

Cavernous Openings and Bottomless Buttholes is the scale used to measure the largest of sphincters. It is the named the COBBS scale after the largest anus ever found. It is the top end of the scale. The small side of the scale is Klosed Coccyx and goes up. The measurement starts when the subject starts to leave stainZ in their underwear.

The term is also used in spelunking because many caves are smaller than the COBBS scale measures.

That gay porn star is so used up they had to use the COBBS scale to measure for a butt plug.

by P. Seudo Nym May 6, 2024