It was a cold snowy November morning...a friend picked me up from my estate. We grabbed some food and entered a nearby hipster coffee shop. While playing catch up, a man got hit by a truck. Everyone in the crowded coffee shop stopped typing poetry on their Mac book and looked up. What they saw was horrifying; blood everywhere, truck shattered on the ground. After the paramedics arrived and pronounced him dead on the scene. We all decided we had to go back to our poetry and overpriced espresso. A few minutes later, the mans son fell off the second story and he was still going strong. The barista was in a bad mood after all the craziness and while trying to get a refill on my Bianca white mocha he was being extremely rude. With much despair...the words rang from my mouth “who shit in your Oreos.”
Me: cheer up
Friend: go type your poetry and I hope your flannel rips.
Me: well “who shit in your Oreos”
Friend: go type your poetry and I hope your flannel rips.
Me: well “who shit in your Oreos”
by madscatraz November 22, 2017
Get the Who shit in your oreosmug. 1.) You run to the toilet, ready to take a wicked fat fucking shit. When you plop your ass onto the toilet you fart the demon right out of your stomach. This fart is always loud as fuck too, probably because of the echo. All of the sudden, you no longer have to drop that log.
2.) This time, you didn’t just rip major ass. You shit your brains out into the toilet. You wipe your coolio and look down at the paper to assess the damage. When you look down, the fucker is clean. Perhaps the most bewildering yet satisfying experiences ever known to man.
3.) You take a shit, usually comes out in one piece. When you stand up and look down at the bowl, the fucking toilet is empty. This occurs due to the force of your asshole, and the velocity at which the shit flies out of it.
2.) This time, you didn’t just rip major ass. You shit your brains out into the toilet. You wipe your coolio and look down at the paper to assess the damage. When you look down, the fucker is clean. Perhaps the most bewildering yet satisfying experiences ever known to man.
3.) You take a shit, usually comes out in one piece. When you stand up and look down at the bowl, the fucking toilet is empty. This occurs due to the force of your asshole, and the velocity at which the shit flies out of it.
(Runs to the toilet and sits down) (farts) holy tits, I no longer have to shit. must’ve been a ghost shit!!
(Takes a shit, wipes, sees it’s empty) what the fuck?? my asshole has never been this clean!? what an amazing feeling! I love ghost shits!
(Takes a shit, looks at the bowl and sees its empty) where in the fuck did that shit go?? was it a ghost shit?? did I even shit?? does this mean I don’t have to wipe??
(Takes a shit, wipes, sees it’s empty) what the fuck?? my asshole has never been this clean!? what an amazing feeling! I love ghost shits!
(Takes a shit, looks at the bowl and sees its empty) where in the fuck did that shit go?? was it a ghost shit?? did I even shit?? does this mean I don’t have to wipe??
by Crispy D’Angelo January 30, 2020
Get the Ghost shitmug. Noun. Anal sex in which there is feces on the male's dick(stick) when pulled out.
See also: Dooky sticks
See also: Dooky sticks
by BedheadRedd June 8, 2017
Get the Shit sticksmug. by SexDrugsJokes October 7, 2019
Get the Wizard Shitmug. by trump is my daddy March 11, 2021
Get the Shit Lipsmug. A dumb bitch who knows nothing, yet knows everything & somehow turn everything to shit, an ungrateful bitch.
Man: (it's 2AM) " Hello"
Woman: I think something is wrong in my kitchen. Water is everywhere. Can you come and fix it right away ?
Man: " Let me gather my tools" I'll be there swiftly.
Man: There go your problem. The waterline to your faucet is loose. I tightening it up & everything should be OK again.
Woman: Are you sure the pipe is not bursted?
Man: "Ma'am! Turn on/off your faucet" water fine down here, there no more leak & I'm sure a pipe is not bursted. I've already check and pressurized all your line.
Woman: I can hear something in the wall.
Man: I don't hear anything. But let me check again. " nothing is wrong! everything good to go"
Woman: I can still hear something leaking in the wall.
Man: I'm sure nothing is leaking or I will hear it too.
Woman: You can't tell me what I'm hearing from my wall.
Man: Ma'am! There is nothing wrong. I just fixed the problem.
Woman: I don't think you know what you're doing. I'm going to call a Profesional Plumber.
Noun: My shit digger just pissed me off for coming home from work. She digging up the same ol' shit again.
Advice: Don't make eyes contact or verbal contact, especially verbal contact with shit digger.
Woman: I think something is wrong in my kitchen. Water is everywhere. Can you come and fix it right away ?
Man: " Let me gather my tools" I'll be there swiftly.
Man: There go your problem. The waterline to your faucet is loose. I tightening it up & everything should be OK again.
Woman: Are you sure the pipe is not bursted?
Man: "Ma'am! Turn on/off your faucet" water fine down here, there no more leak & I'm sure a pipe is not bursted. I've already check and pressurized all your line.
Woman: I can hear something in the wall.
Man: I don't hear anything. But let me check again. " nothing is wrong! everything good to go"
Woman: I can still hear something leaking in the wall.
Man: I'm sure nothing is leaking or I will hear it too.
Woman: You can't tell me what I'm hearing from my wall.
Man: Ma'am! There is nothing wrong. I just fixed the problem.
Woman: I don't think you know what you're doing. I'm going to call a Profesional Plumber.
Noun: My shit digger just pissed me off for coming home from work. She digging up the same ol' shit again.
Advice: Don't make eyes contact or verbal contact, especially verbal contact with shit digger.
by Lordkickass June 29, 2024
Get the Shit Diggermug. by Shinven July 27, 2022
Get the Dumb shitmug.