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Jesus Was A Satanist

Jesus was a Satanist. Satan was a Christian.
"Jesus was a Satanist 'cause Satan goes to church. Satan was a Christian when the death bell rang for Lurch. He died a frankenbooger up his nostril with a seed. They buried him on Friday. Now his pumpkin Halloweed!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 30, 2023
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Jesus Louiseus

When someone is doing anything annoying (Normally someone named Louise) to annoy them.
Jesus Louiseus, you will have to pick up all this flour!
by Louiseus Cameron May 4, 2023
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Jesus Freak

A old male or woman (mostly woman) who is obsessed with jesus christ. They act like this because they know they are dying soon. They have lots of jesus clothes, they talk about jesus all the time, they go to church every day it’s held at their local church, and they have bible verses and crosses all over the house.

I am christian but i don’t like jesus freaks. they are just annoying.
Wow, Crystal is such a jesus freak.

I know. She has a cross on her neck and she even tried getting her son glenn out of jail by talking all this religious stuff.
by TOW DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!! July 10, 2023
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Blimp Jesus

That guy is a Blimp Jesus with that woman.
by Dante real man July 24, 2023
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Jesus cable

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.
Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.
by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023
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Undeveloped Jesus

when someone has a terribly unfortunate face.
Fuck. Matt Is an Undeveloped Jesus. He is so fugly.
by Bee749 November 21, 2021
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Hooker's for Jesus

A group of prositutes who sold themselves for Jesus. They were very successful.
Wanna handjob? $10 from the hooker's for Jesus. Bible reading in the alley.
by Iam not Elmer Fudd February 2, 2020
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