Jesus Money

not actual currency, just hopes and prayers. When people pay you in Jesus money they dont actually pay you in money, they just pray for you.

If she pays us in Jesus Money I'll explode!!

by poopbutjazzfunk November 29, 2011

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Jesus Speaking

The art of Jesus speaking,talking to dead people through a microwave.

Frank : What are you going to do today?
Anthony : I'm going to do some Jesus speaking
Frank : Who will you talk to?
Anthony : Actually whoever replies lol.

by Zxkred June 22, 2018

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The stereotypical, faith-filled pre-elementary school that most small town children went to, typically held in a church basement. Includes cheese balls, prayer before snack, and 100 toddlers singing "Away in a Manger" for the yearly Christmas performance. Not limited to Protestant (Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, etc.) and Catholic locations.

Oh my gosh, you went to Jesus Preschool? So did I! Did you say *insert rhyming prayer here*, too?!

by maybelatergater September 5, 2016

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Cabbage jesus

A overweight cunt who is full of life and loves to joke around with anyone. He loves to make friends and will even share his lunch with you. He will go out of his way for anyone!

Bro 1: did u just see that guy? he just gave the homeless family 100 dollars!
Bro 2: yeah! he always does that his name is cabbage jesus..
Bro 1: what a mad cunt we should meet him sometime..

Bro 2: hell yeah!

by Cabbage jesus May 12, 2019

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Black Jesus

No one less than Tupac.

In times of war we need somebody raw, rally the troops
like a Saint that we can trust to help to carry us through
Black Jesus Tupac

by FexilThaDon December 28, 2016

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Jesus Was A Satanist

Jesus was a Satanist. Satan was a Christian.

"Jesus was a Satanist 'cause Satan goes to church. Satan was a Christian when the death bell rang for Lurch. He died a frankenbooger up his nostril with a seed. They buried him on Friday. Now his pumpkin Halloweed!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 30, 2023

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