Self-Shelf

When you put a dildo on a shelf and then open and close it over and over again to fuck your own ass

"What were you doing last night?"
"Self-Shelf"
"Aw Peter, that's nasty"

by ShinyBauble618 December 28, 2023

self yourkill

An alternate spelling of kill yourself used primarily by people who wish to fuck with you.

Person 1: kill yourself
Person 2: self yourkill :)

by Superbro133 May 10, 2018

self-esteam

What Thomas and his coal-and-water-powered friends on the Island of Sodor each diligently strive to maintain in themselves, and to help improve in each other, as well.

Sir Topham Hat, Mr. Conductor, C-Junior, the station-masters and engineers and firemen and conductors, and the rest of the human-supervisors-and-operators team always give the engines praise where it's due, in an ongoing effort to keep their iron-horse friends' self-esteam up to snuff.

by QuacksO July 4, 2019

Self Inflicted Dick Punch

When you throat blast a girl and then proceed to punch her throat containing your penis

Dude I Self Inflicted Dick Punched that girl so hard last night. She needed vocal chord surgery. Do i feel bad? No, not at all.

by Picklerickkk69 June 20, 2018

Nighttime Voluntary Self-pissing

The act of pissing your pants in bed rather than walking down a dark hallway at night to risk being attack by a demon or other entity. (Springtrap is also a common one) Probably the most common childhood fear

Liam: Ay remember when we were kids and we kinda just accepted our fate and pissed ourselves cause we were afraid of Springtrap or Shane Dawson videos or some shit in the hallway? What would you call that?

Jackson: Nighttime Voluntary Self-pissing

by giddyburger4000 December 2, 2023

self-help paradox

The age-old conundrum of "people who seek self-improvement vs. people who need self-improvement" --- generally speaking, the people who are conscientious and unashamedly self-examining enough to actively seek ways to improve themselves do not really need to self-improve very much, whereas the people who truly do need to improve themselves will not admit that they even HAVE a self-inadequacy problem, and so they arrogantly/impatiently refuse to seek or accept help in improving their character or behavior (think, the infamous "getters gettin' got" conversation between Madea and Dr. Phil).

Client, to counsellor, at the outset of their weekly meeting: Breaker one-five for reality check --- come on back?
Counsellor, playing along: Yeah, go ahead, Breaker --- reading you wall-to-wall and treetop-tall.
Client: Thanks --- that's a big ten-four, good buddy. Well, I'm in the process of trying to improve myself, and so I thought I'd send a random shout-out over the waves to check my progress. I've been trying to be more sociable and patient and helpful to everyone, visualize things more from their perspective, and so on.
Counsellor: Well, eights and other good numbers to you on THAT one, good buddy --- that's certainly a positive start. Have you tried self-help books?
Client: Oh, a great BIG ten-four THERE, good buddy --- I've read at least a half-dozen of 'em cover-to-cover, and loved every page; the problem, though, is that I never seem to find any new ideas --- most everything in there is stuff I already know about and am actively practicing, so the books just reassuringly confirm the nature and wisdom of my efforts, not provide fresh perspectives for further improvement.
Counsellor: Ah... well, ten-four, good buddy --- I totally "get you" there... the old "self-help paradox", eh?? The only people who'll read those books are ones who don't need 'em!

by QuacksO February 3, 2017

Self meltdown

A freak out done all alone, by yourself. No one need be near, because this is all you.

She was making a fried egg sandwich and discovered they were small eggs, the ham want wrapped properly and the bread included seeds, which she didn't like. What followed was a self meltdown of epic proportions.

by Brewton September 24, 2022