pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating, to increase pleasure

" I'm for a pokey bum wank tonight "

by ayrshire pedro October 24, 2008

Suicide wank chop

Where you have to take a shot of ice cold lemoncello then immediately followed by a line of ketamine.

'Hey James! How about me and you go back to the apartment and do a suicide wank chop?'
'Mate, we can do anything'

by Renato1 July 30, 2015

Wank like an Egyptian.

The act of masturbating whereby one uses only their imagination to reach climax. Internet porn is not allowed.

Guy 1: "I'm gonna go home and take a shower after we're done here."

Guy 2: "You gonna rub one out while you're there?"

Guy 1: "Man, come on, you know I can't wank like an Egyptian."

Guy 3: "No talking in the operating theatre please"

by BltS3 February 20, 2011

Wank yourself Watson

A polite way of telling somebody to screw off. Very similar to no shit Sherlock

Person 1: Hey the sky is blue
Person 2: No shit Sherlock

Person 1: Wank yourself Watson

by Jaydee18 September 4, 2013

Wank Wool Glove

A Woolen Wank Glove is a knitted accessory used to wank with........

If used too much however the Woolen Wank Glove may become bobbled and itchy (and at this point ask your partner to get their 'de-bobbler' out from under the stairs)

If your outside in the cold and the moment arises, use your Wank Wool Glove and bosh away.

by rallly ali January 26, 2011

Wanking on the door knob

The informal term for Auto Erotic Asphyxiaton by hanging onesself from the door - commonly used by coroners & medical examiners in informal setting

Did you determine the cause of death Scott?
I think we can rule out foul play Ed, I'm fairly certain he was just wanking on the door knob.

by Ed Bosh February 12, 2022

stone age wank

when you dont have anything to masturbate to so you must think about it

the internet is down so i'll have to stone age wank

by R1E2U3 May 20, 2017