How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Answer - ALL OF IT

No scrap of wood on the face of the planet would be safe. Scratch that... given the size of the universe it is likely that wood exists on other planets as well. That wood would also be chucked.

Use this as a cleaver and 'safe-for-school' joke when in the company of Chuck Norris fans. Example: Hey guys! How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Guys - We don't know! You - ALL OF IT. Guys - damn man, that was some sick Chuck Norris joke action! You - Yeah, I made that up... How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Answer - ALL OF IT

by cloneswilleatme February 2, 2024

Wood Guardian

A protector of wood. AKA a condom.

Not without a Wood Guardian...

by jstejste May 3, 2011

Wood

Something you find if you leave your house. Your floor might be made by it too, or your chair.

Random guy: WoW This Floor Is Made By Wood?
Random guy 2: Y e s My man.

by D0N4lD J3WW Tr4mP November 8, 2017

ebony wood

Slang for black cock

Friend: I can't wait to have some ebony wood.

by OofPoof681 March 21, 2021

Hundred Acre Woods

A hairy asshole

He knew not to enter the Hundred Acre Woods because poo lives there.

by donkeyshane June 23, 2010

Red Wood

1) Having sex with a woman who is on her period. 2) A man's penis after having had sex with a woman on her period. 3) Female horniness when she is on her period.

I don't care if it will be messy, my girl's got red wood!

You don't need lube when you've got red wood!

Dude, my girl gave me red wood this morning and the ring still hasn't gone away!

by E Ruff September 26, 2021

Nigger in the wood pile

When something is surprising or obscure.

When you find out you're 3% eastern European, grandma says "that's the nigger in the wood pile"

by Dr. Delarney May 10, 2025