chocolate jesus

Similar to the filthy Sanchez but with one major difference. After you've engaged in anal sex you don't just draw the mustache, you give them the full beard.

I gave your sister the chocolate Jesus last night.

Really, how'd she take it?

I don't remember cause after i left i got struck by lightning.

by DjinnNTawnik June 26, 2007

Jesus is Savior

Jesus is savior is perhaps the biggest troll website on the internet. Within its hallowed lines of code, insane author David J. Stewart, only real prophet of one Jesus H. Christ, spreads the true word of God to everyone who incurs his (David’s) wrath, such as the whole human race, which includes but is not limited to whites, blacks, Asians, Arabs, Chinks, niggas, niggers, Negroes, crackers, Whitey, terrorists, faggots, and the French, and reveals to you that everything you know and love is in reality “of the devil” (even the Bible) and run by “Banksters.” According to this website, anyone who is not David Stewart is bound for demonic booty-rape in Hell, the domain of the Devil, Illuminati, and Democratic Party. The website uses elegant literary devices such as contradiction, grammatical and spelling errers, non-contradiction, redundancy, redundancy, and destroying the reputations of celebrities, including those who need no help in that capacity, such as Justin Bieber, “Satan’s Homosexual Boy Toy.” The reason this website was created is because David got all butt-hurt after child protective services forced his daughter to take drugs that made her hair fall out. Reliving the Red Scare by calling things Communist is also another prevalent theme in Jesus-is-savior. Later in his life, David became a necromancer and beat small children, which led to his flight to Brazil where he remains today.

Drunkard 1: I have a new drinking game we can play.
Drunkard 2: What are the rules?
Drunkard 1: Let’s read an article on Jesus is savior and take a drink every time a reference to Satan is made.
Drunkard 2: Sounds tight brah!
(The poor booze-hounds died of alcohol poisoning without even getting halfway through the article)

by Ronald Bringus Ph.D. October 26, 2015

Aqua Jesus

Aqua Jesus is the Mormon Jesus who has only water in his veins because their sacrament uses water instead of wine to represent his blood.

The Mormon missionary told me to "Let Aqua Jesus in to my life"

by jackmormonpriest June 5, 2016

Jesus hitler

The one extreme Mormon who yells at you when you swear or say any thing to do with Jesus or a God. This yelling can range from "STOP IT THAT IS AGAINST MY RELIGION AND YOU SHOULD NOT USE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN!!" to "IF YOU SWEAR OR SAY THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!"

"Oh my god Emily is such a Jesus hitler!" "HAY I HERD THAT NOW YOU ARE GOING TO HELL."

by op2014 November 13, 2014

Jesus Boner

Literally jesus’s holy erected dick

“Damn, he has a jesus boner there.”

by DickSucka69 March 5, 2018

Meme jesus

Some weird looking fat ginger virgin who sells discord rolls for nudes and when he doesn't get them he gets quite upset and throws fits where he often ends up half asleep with a fist in his anus

That ginger cunt meme Jesus has 1.8million followers. Please tell me how that's possible

by Dogn't November 14, 2018

Jesus Frappe

An immortal beast. You could throw him into a porta potty and he would end up in your closet the next day. He is very very sexy and can turn anyone on. But, if you disrespect him he will kill you. Respect the Lord or you shall be sacrificed.

"How tf did Jesus Frappe just reappear we killed him months ago"

by PhatJuicyAss April 25, 2020