Since the sexual revolution of the mid-1960s, theoretical biologists have been aware of a unique mystery lurking within the foreskins of gentiles all over the world. Upon calculating the amount of smegma that would be necessary to produce the intensity of odour that was emanating from the penises of uncircumcised males, it was discovered that the amount required would be more than four times the quantity of smegma that was detectable. To resolve this apparent paradox, it was theorised that an invisible substance, named dark smegma, was responsible for the excess odour.
To date, no dark smegma has been detected, though the consensus within the theoretical biology community is that a breakthrough is imminent.
To date, no dark smegma has been detected, though the consensus within the theoretical biology community is that a breakthrough is imminent.
"I apologise for the smell, it's not that I don't wash or anything, I guess I must just have a lot of dark smegma, perhaps I should get cut?"
by Minotawr October 14, 2011
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smegma • SMEGMA MALE • smegma breath • smegma brains • Smegma Meeting • smegman • smegmata • Smegma Ball • Smegma lord • smegma stache
We do not know the definition of "Smegma", so we ask Deckan every time we see/talk to him. Every time you come in contact with him you must ask him what it is, as he is the only one that knows what it is.
by runningtreez October 4, 2021
Get the Deckan's Smegma mug.Harvest your smegma(otherwise known as "dick cheese") that has gathered along your penal region, or for the ladies, vaginal area. Take the collected smegma and fill it in a empty chapstick container, then put it in the freezer. Once coagulated, apply the new lip balm to you lips and make out with any victim you choose.
"Dude! i cant believe my girlfriend cheated on me!"
"Just give her a good ol' Sacramento Smegma Smooch and leave her in the dust"
"Perfect!!"
"Just give her a good ol' Sacramento Smegma Smooch and leave her in the dust"
"Perfect!!"
by Pepe Silvia Barney October 3, 2012
Get the Sacramento Smegma Smooch mug.An unfortunately common skin condition possessed by friends or roommates who, despite all their efforts of cleaning (if any), always smell fucking horrible. Their bedsheets are worryingly discolored yellow as a result of their nasty, cheese covered skin constantly being in contact with it, which in turn creates a reluctance for you to touch them. Like a boisterous drunk, a person suffering from Full Body Smegma makes their presence instantly known, but rather than being obnoxiously rude and loud, they bring a stench so gut punching that if you tried to breathe through your mouth to avoid the stench, you'd probably throw up instead.
Guy 1: "Dude, my roommate always smells like ass, he's nasty."
Guy 2: "If his skin's kinda greasy he probably has Full Body Smegma."
Guy 1: "You mean he has dick cheese all over his body?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, pretty much."
Guy 2: "If his skin's kinda greasy he probably has Full Body Smegma."
Guy 1: "You mean he has dick cheese all over his body?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, pretty much."
by Sang-froid April 21, 2018
Get the Full Body Smegma mug.The food particules, skin flakes, and dust that accumulates in the crevices between your keys on your keyboard and rots. Later, you can collect your keyboard smegma and use for sprinklings on cupcakes that will be given to your worst enemy.
Jim: I hate Rob so much. I need to repay him for the misdeeds he's done.
Larry: Hey, I got an idea?
Jim: What?
Larry: Let's bake up some cupcakes, top them off with keyboard smegma, and give 'em to him. He'll enjoy the rich, dense texture of the cake and crunch away on the bits of smegma. Stupid bastard!
Jim: Good idea Larry! That'll teach that SOB.
Larry: Hey, I got an idea?
Jim: What?
Larry: Let's bake up some cupcakes, top them off with keyboard smegma, and give 'em to him. He'll enjoy the rich, dense texture of the cake and crunch away on the bits of smegma. Stupid bastard!
Jim: Good idea Larry! That'll teach that SOB.
by McPhatty May 18, 2006
Get the Keyboard Smegma mug.A polite word for eye boogers-the dried,crusty material that collects on the inside corners of the eyes during sleep.Ocular smeg is naturally yellow in color,but,in women it can be black,dark blue or brown due to residues from mascara,eyeline,eye shadow,etc. Ocular smegma is very common in poodles and chihuahuas.Eye smeg can be particularly troublesome in persons suffering from colds,allegies,flu and pink eye.For some reason,young children don't like to eat eye smeg as much as they do boogers. Contrary to myth,ocular smegma is NOT caused by the Sand Man.
When I woke up this morning,I thought I had gone blind.It turned out my eyelids were matted shut with ocular smegma.
by wolfbait51 January 8, 2011
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