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Gucci Granola

Outdoorsy wealthy poseur.
Wears expensive outdoor gear type clothing ALL of time, with brand labels exposed & conspicuous. Only talks about organic food and extreme sports.
Chris and Bea are so Gucci Granola; their Toyota Tacoma has micro brew and social justice stickers all over the back.

The Gucci Granola chick outside Whole Foods wanted me to sign a petition to ban cars from the freeway.
by JHGC8 June 20, 2017
mugGet the Gucci Granolamug.

Finance Granola

A person who works in a white-collar, often finance or corporate environment, yet maintains a distinctly outdoorsy, health-conscious, or minimalist lifestyle. They thrive in the city and take advantage of its amenities — trendy coffee shops, boutique gyms, Whole Foods — but on weekends they’re hiking, climbing, or van camping. Think Patagonia vest by weekday, Patagonia puffer by weekend.
Sammy is climbing after work while easting a sea oil free tuna sandwich, he's so finance granola.
by FG Buff November 11, 2025
mugGet the Finance Granolamug.

Granola

Middle Aged white man named Brandon. Loves to hike, has never hunted. Eats werthers hard candy and complains about hippies. Brags about riding horses and being “country”
Brandon said he’s a country bumpkin.. but we all know he’s a granola!
by WingDangDanDoodle September 8, 2022
mugGet the Granolamug.

granola

a heterosexual white man that finishes after a singular stroke because of his built up testosterone from watching anime porn, usually named some basic shit like will or jackson
hook ups with frat boys are granola as fuck
by akhxloqnx July 10, 2022
mugGet the granolamug.

Fresh Granola

When osmething is good or mesmerizing and pleasing to the eye.
Yo dude this Gucci cologne is some fresh granola.
by Everyoneusesthisohrase101 April 9, 2019
mugGet the Fresh Granolamug.

Granola Sunrise

When you are having sex with someone from behind, pull out, and jizz in their hair without telling them about it. Then, in the morning when they wake up and run their fingers through their hair, and run into the crunchy, crusty, and clumpy mess, and say “what the hell is this”, you point and loudly yell “Granola Sunrise!!”
I gave my wife a Granola Sunrise last Saturday. Been sleeping in the garage ever since. Totally worth it.
by Distracted Cosmonaut June 9, 2024
mugGet the Granola Sunrisemug.

Smooth Crunchy Granola

Used to describe a type of indie Jewish worship experience enjoyed by young urbanite Jews, typically unorthodox & upper-middle class
"So you went to that new Friday night service in Harlem, right? How was?"
"I loved it! It was so spiritual! Why don't you come with me next week?"
"Was it like smooth crunchy granola?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did they sing in a circle and try to get everyone to meditate?"
"Yes!"
"Not my thing. I'll just stick to my Orthodox shul."
by klezmoreh98 January 24, 2024
mugGet the Smooth Crunchy Granolamug.

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