Squat Cobbler

Noun. When a pie is desecrated by bare human buttocks. Situation made worse when said human is crying

He has a private video stash of himself doing crying squat cobbler for another man.

by SquigglySquid September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

A term coined on the AMC show "Better Call Saul", describing a particular fetish involving one's ass sloshing around in a pie. May also be used as a derogatory term toward an unpleasant person.

1. I know it seems like an unusual fetish, but Matt has a huge collection of videos depicting men performing squat cobblers.

2. You're a fucking squat cobbler.

by bouchole September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

A fetish that involves a man who sits in a pie and "wiggles around."

I had a very nice apple pie cooling on the window sill but, instead of Yogi Bear, the creepy neighbor Jerry got it. He's a squat cobbler.

by Wormald August 5, 2016

cobbler's

See cobblers

by Ian Chode September 22, 2003

squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler

Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!

by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.

He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by Yankwood August 29, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in pie while fully clothed in order to satisfy another's sexual desire.

Jimmy McGill told those sneakin pigs all about that squat cobbler Pryce.

by sabresfan30 September 3, 2016