Quadralic Theorem

You dumb as hell if you think this a real thing.
Thiccoldman thinks you retarded.

You dumb as hell if you thought the quadralic theorem was a real thing

by Thiccoldman December 29, 2021

Glangum theorem

The scientifically unproven theory that suggests if you drop a single sock on the floor, it will automatically multiply into 12, all of which are lost within the next 48 hours, never to be seen again, except for the odd chance of one sock being found in the back of the dryer, yet never its partner.

"I tried to explain the Glangum Theorem to my roommate, but she just stared at me like I was speaking another language."

by Dirtysockfinder August 3, 2025

The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem

The theory that all male-identifying individuals can be categorized as either a pirate, a cowboy, or an astronaut. Some combination thereof is a possibility, but one classification is always dominant. The categories need no defined criteria because the correct placement is almost always surprisingly obvious.

"I really like him, which is surprising because based on The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem he's more of an astronaut, and I'm usually more attracted to pirate men."
"I get that. I'm mostly into cowboys at the moment, but I could definitely see myself settling down with an astronaut one day."

by hannahmadison69 January 19, 2024

snoozes theorem of hacking community

"If in hacking community and says they are woman. That equals to transgender. Unless proven otherwise"

"snoozes theorem of hacking ", means to be used in a minecraft discord cheating community as a wise quotes by the most known user there, and this is a very and very known word by the community there & some others discord servers. Basically "snoozes" has been known called to be the guy. example when new members joining, "hey you're snoozes theorem of hacking community".

by EclipsesDev June 25, 2024

Steve’s Theorem

“There is an inverse relationship between how much you care about the body of your car and how well you treat other people”

Man: Wow that Steve sure does take good care of his 1992 Mustang.

Other man: Yeah but he won’t let anyone touch it and everyone thinks he’s a dick. Classic example of Steve’s Theorem.

by the notorious swish May 22, 2020

the Wicker Chair Theorem

People often jump to a conclusion about something based on what they see in front of them. Said conclusion is usually not based in fact.

(setting- a hotel room in Mackinac Island)

Me: Where is the TV?

My mom: They don't allow TVs on the island.

Me: Yet another application of the wicker chair theorem!

by tiffany0128 May 21, 2011

Infinite Funny Theorem

1. When you create a new funny via forgetting the original funny, thus theoretically creating a source of infinite funny; When humor originates from the setup of a joke but the punchline being forgotten in a comedic fashion

2. The Scientific Theory that, if an immortal monkey spent all of eternity clicking on random keys on a keyboard, it would eventually write every joke that could possibly be conceived.

Rick: "Hey, I heard a funny joke the other day! So, a Tibetan Monk walks into a bar in order to observe the lifestyle of people living in a first world country and an urban setting, and then-"
Vick: "Wow, he walked into a bar? That must've hurt!"
Rick: "Haha, you fucking moron, that's not what I meant you failed excuse of a human being."
Vick: "So... where's the funny?"
Rick: "Oh, I forgot I was supposed to be telling a joke-"
Vick: "Hah! You forgot the funny!"
Rick: "No, it's the infinite funny theorem. By forgetting the funny, I've created another funny."
Vick: "Wow, that's pretty funny!"
Pause for laughter. If it does not ensue, then your friends are not based enough.

by Based Guitar December 20, 2020