The Squidward

Stuffing your dick and balls against a glass window thus resembling Squidward's face.

My favorite way to pass time on the bus is to do The Squidward.

by M_Dubz152 June 10, 2023

Squidward Torture Porn

Originally coined by Youtube Pooper "MoBrosStudios" in the early 2010's, and then picked up by The Mysterious Mr. Enter, a Squidward Torture Porn is an episode of Spongebob, where rather than actually tell an interesting humorous story, the writers fall into laziness and just decide to make Squidward's life a dry hell. In the earlier days of Spongebob, this formula was seldom used, and only when Squidward did something to deserve it. However after the departure of Stephen Hillenberg and all the other competent writers, these episodes became much more recurring, despite the fact that nobody likes them. These torture porns, though common, are not exclusive to Squidward. Anyone, even Spongebob himself, can be given these torture porns provided they either are in a benevolent mood, or just minding their own business. The best way to avoid becoming the subject of these torture porns is to behave like an unlikeable jackass, a skill that the formerly loveable Patrick Star has mastered.

Mark: I had to watch another new Spongebob ratings trap with my little brother yesterday.
Ben: How was it?
Mark: It was crap. Just another half-assed Squidward Torture Porn

by RabidBadger1632 July 16, 2014

Giving Squidward the business

The act of jacking off

1.) "Whoops, just walked in on some dude giving Squidward the business".

2.) "Give me a few minutes. Just gotta finish giving Squidward the business".

3.) "She left me blueballed so I had to give Squidward the business"

by CB and BC March 6, 2014

Brazilian Squidward

When you are getting head from a brazilian, or and extremely thick woman, just as you are about to cum, you put your penis up her nose and cream all in her mucus membrane.

Yo bruh I gave Caetano the biggest Brazilian Squidward

by nastynaay January 30, 2014

Squidward Tennisballs

Squidward Tennisballs was a name Squidward Tentacles was called on the episode "The Great Snail Race" by the mailman

where delivery man call squidward tentacle SquidwardTennisballs

Delivery Man: Package, sir.

Squidward: A-ha! (Squidward signs a clipboard) I can’t believe it’s finally here! (delivery man hands him the cage)

Delivery Man: Here ya go!

Squidward: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. (hands him the clipboard)

Delivery Man: Thank you, Mr...Tennis Balls.

Squidward: That’s Tentacles! (slams the door shut)

SpongeBob: Squidward’s last name is Tentacles?

Patrick: Poor guy.

"Squidward Tennisballs

by Mr.Awesomeman1625273 January 11, 2011

Squidward

A communist

Squidward:"The gentle laborer shall no longer suffer from the Krabitalism of Mr. Krabs! We will dismantle oppression board by board! We'll saw the foundation of big business in half, even if it takes AN ETERNITY! With your support, we will send the hammer of the people's will crashing through the windows of Mr. Krabs' House of Servitude! The Gentle Laborer shall not be overrun by Krabitalism!"

Mr. Krabs: *goes bankrupt*

by Ya boi Stalin June 4, 2018

Squidward Threesome

A Squidward Threesome is a BDSM threesome involving two disobediant subs, or brats, and a dom. It involves the brats disobeying the dom’s orders, expecting to be punished, while the dom punishes them for mutual sexual pleasure.

I just had the greatest Squidward Threesome, man. I dominated the fuck out of those two girls.

by GingervitisDV October 1, 2017