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Shitter's Dilemma

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Derived from the quandary presented when defecating in a public bathroom and the toilet paper roll appears to be soaked in urine. The question of whether to wipe one's ass with a potentially befouled toilet paper or spend the day as a shit ass presents an existential crisis known as the Shitter's Dilemma so named by Plato in 351 B.C.
In practical usage since the time of Shakespeare it has come to mean any hard choice one faces.
My kids really needed food but I wanted the new Xbox, it was a real shitter's dilemma.

"To wipe, or not to wipe? That is the Shitter's Dilemma—Whether 'tis better to wipe my filthy asshole with this, Or to take an ass full of foul debris for a fortnight long." --Hamwallet Act 3, Scene 1
by sgt. roy batty December 17, 2021
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shitter's remorse

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The void of moisture in your body after the act of defecation while already dehydrated. The mental and physical emptiness felt after taking a gigantic shit.
Gordo knew he would soon have "shitter's remorse" as he gazed with dehydration at the over flowing port-a-johns on the third day of the music festival.
by Shady Jay May 10, 2011
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Shitter's Shame

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The shame and anxiety one suffers while taking a shit. Often happens at weak moments after you've recently done something stupid.
Tim: Man, i'm got a serious case of shitter's shame just now

Ben: Why? Whats up man?

Tim: I keep feeling real insecure... Must be the shame of shagging your mother last week.
by TimBen86 December 23, 2009
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Shitter shopping

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The act of online shopping on a mobile device (phone, tablets) while sitting on the toilet. One would usually partake in shitter shopping while your supposed to working at your job.
Worker1 "hey where's Joey ?He's been gone for a half an hour now."
Worker 2 " he's probably in the bathroom shitter shopping for some black Friday deals "

Joey: "bro, I was totally shitter shopping at work and some guy comes and drops ass in the stall next to me and shits when there was clearly 10 other empty bathroom stalls . But I did manage to get some great deals on amazon.
by rightlane February 28, 2016
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Shitter shot

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A phrase invented by dudes in Front Royal Virginia. The phrase refers to drinking liquor shots on the toilet and posting a video of the act on the shitter shots Facebook page. Most of the participants call out their friends and whatnot
Dude I cant wait to get home tonight, I'm posting shitter shots until I black out.
by Shitter shot champion April 24, 2020
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shitter shatter

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A rapid series of light farting/crapping noises when you're on the toilet taking a shit.
"He heard shitter shattering from the bathroom."
by BagofMojo October 30, 2015
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Shitter Selfie

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When someone tries to take a sexy selfie in the bathroom mirror and there is a log of shit visable in the toilet in the background
This chick DM'ed me on instagram cause she thinks I'm cute. I asked her to post a sexy pic and she put up a Shitter Selfie! Fail!
by Peenut773 October 17, 2014
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