"Seh-poo-koo"
A Japanese suicide ritual where you cut the belly open. It is believed that if you commit suicide this way, it will let your spirit exit the body at ease.
A Japanese suicide ritual where you cut the belly open. It is believed that if you commit suicide this way, it will let your spirit exit the body at ease.
by NoeruChan April 05, 2016
Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.
But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.
Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.
Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.
Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around
Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.
Step 5 Get really super pissed.
Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)
Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.
Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.
Step 9 Wait.
Step 10 Die.
If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”
But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.
Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.
Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.
Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around
Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.
Step 5 Get really super pissed.
Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)
Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.
Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.
Step 9 Wait.
Step 10 Die.
If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”
Dude 1: Holy Shit! You just swallowed a frisbee! You are the most awesome ninja ever!
Dude 2: (dead, because he just commit seppuku)
Dude 1: Holy Crap!
Dude 2: (dead, because he just commit seppuku)
Dude 1: Holy Crap!
by Benjamon October 20, 2005
A masturbatory sexual act in which a man penetrates the outer sphincter of his anus with the tip of his beef whistle.
by HAILGOKU February 01, 2017
"You use a Japanese text input tool and enter random Japanese characters into a google image search.
Then you count how many pages until you find an image so disturbing that you wish you never played the game."
Then you count how many pages until you find an image so disturbing that you wish you never played the game."
by Stevy July 04, 2005
When a man attempts to trim up or style his beard and makes a fatal error, forcing him to go clean shaven rather than bear the shame of failure.
Seppuku is the custom of Japanese samurai to commit ritual suicide upon suffering great dishonor or failure.
Seppuku is the custom of Japanese samurai to commit ritual suicide upon suffering great dishonor or failure.
Pierre: "Hey dude, why'd you go clean shaven?"
Antoine: "Ah.. well, I made a mistake while trimming and had to commit beard seppuku."
Antoine: "Ah.. well, I made a mistake while trimming and had to commit beard seppuku."
by OtterOwnage December 13, 2009
Amongst 'English'-speaking European immigrant cultures of the American continent, ritual suicide by firearm resulting from gross negligence; often the perpetrator's passage into the next life is eased by liquid refreshment.
Anthropologists discovered an ancient news broadcast revealing the fate of Alabama man and Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard Jefferson Beauregard Bedford Forrest III committed hillbilly seppuku while cleaning his loaded .45 revolver on the toilet. He was surrounded by his close friends, the Coors family and the Miller family.
by CliticusTotalis March 28, 2019
The act of getting deployed, and being shot by a little Iraqi boy using his father's Russian assault rifle, thus making you a hero.
by Walnutty December 01, 2021