grief poaching

Expressing phony or exaggerated grief for a tragic event that one wasn't really close to, in order to get attention or advance one's career. Coined by author Anna Shinoda.

When Michael Jackson passed away, you had every C-list celebrity in the universe on television, like, 'Oh, man, I was so moved!' and crying. I was disgusted by all that grief poaching.

by jewishfoodie July 13, 2015

poaching eggs

When a male is in a jacuzzi bath tub or hot tub and he masturbates or is masturbated to completion.

Josh went to the strip club and when he got home his wife caught him poaching eggs in their master bath.

by Johnny Burk May 4, 2018

Punching The Clown

The act of masturbation. Commonly known as jerking off...

Since she left i've been punching the clown like twice a day.

by Nick Conte October 4, 2005

Friend Poaching

When one friend befriends another through your introduction, soon putting more effort into that person than you do, simultaneously making you seem less desirable and devaluing both your original friendships. This can happen consciously or unconsciously. Notably, one does not tend to ever make any new friends for themselves through the friend poacher.

I used to be close with Guy until I introduced him to Buddy, who started inviting him out all the time; I think Buddy is friend poaching, especially considering I've never met any good friends through him.

by Jernstar October 1, 2016

Punching the Squid

Masturbating in such a way that when you cum it shoots out in strings that make it look like squid tentacles coming out of your penis.

Man 1: "Why is your house such a mess?"
Man 2: "Sorry, I got a bit carried away punching the squid last night."

by Arcaros August 1, 2017

Punching rags

Doing it with your underwear on

We didn't want to get naked, so we ended up just punching rags

by Poptart656 August 5, 2017

Loaf Poaching

1. The act of taking a dump into a pot of boiling water.

2. The act of busting down the door and shooting someone in the chest with an elephant gun dressed as Hunter van Pelt from Jumanji, while they are taking a dump, and stealing their shit.

1. Bro, I was camping last weekend and after I was done cooking the beans, I took the leftover water and took a dump in it.

Dude, yes, I love Loaf Poaching

2. Ricky is in the bathroom right now, I want to play a prank on him, what should I do.

You should absolutely poach his loaf man.

by sanfred December 14, 2010