monkey paw

The struggle of someone with small hand trying to grasp a big item

I totally had to monkey paw the big phone

by Royroy February 17, 2015

Monkey Paw Sugar Daddy

The USA is a monkey paw sugar daddy? No oversight hand the most corrupt country in Europe Ukraine hundreds of billions to kill all of their male men that can fight.

((Lyrical potential))

The USA is a monkey paw sugar daddy.

by Super Dave Mega Thrust Five Dr February 4, 2025

The Monkey Paw

The named ascribed to a mythical creature which is behind all bad things that happen to you in the country of Pakistan. The Monkey Paw is a common urban legend for which locals place blame on for issues ranging from food poisioning to problems with local authorities to running out of hot water at the crappy house you live in. Bottom line? It's freaking everywhere!

Boy did I really get sick last night; the freaking Monkey Paw just reached up and grabbed my colon. The Money Paw snagged me last night as I passed through Customs... I didn't know alcohol was illegal! Its like The Monkey Paw just pushes cars on to the wrong side of the road in this country!

by kukotraveler October 18, 2012

monkey's paw

Every exceedingly positive thing has an exceedingly negative consequence.

Monkey's paw: The internet allowed you to see Daicon IV. The internet allowed for a group of retards to call it Ready Player One-tier.

by sanq January 18, 2019

south paw monkey spanker

One who uses his left hand to jack, whack, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior or in other words, MASTURBATE!

A lefty, per say

May be a person that writes, hits, or even smokes with his right hand but gallops the old lizzard with his left hand.

Also referred to as an S.P.M.P.

Kristine: So I used my teloscope last night and looked into Ray's window. Did you know that he is a South Paw Monkey Spanker?

Derek: So I applied for this new job at the Home Depot, and my boss wanted to know if I was an S.P.M.P. and I'm all wtf? On occasion, though, I do, do the five kunckle shuffle with 'ol Lefty!

Janet: Hey Bobby?
Bobby: Yes Janet?
Janet: Do you participate in genital stimulation via phallengetic motion with your left hand?
Bobby: Why yes, I am an S.P.M.P.!

by Emas Diez May 9, 2006

Monkey's Paw

A "monkeys paw" is when you're taking a shower and you're out of wash cloths Once you get to washing your ass, you soap up your hand and get down there to clean it all out with that soapy bare hand. You're then left with a clean ass but in return, no matter how much you clean that hand, it feels dirty for the rest of the day.

I cant eat tacos today, I gave myself a Monkey's paw this morning and I forgot which hand it was.

by Dandalorian December 15, 2022

Monkey's paw wish

You wish for, let's say $200. You get it, but you also get a thermonuclear bomb set to explode in 3 seconds at the same time.

Person 1: Mr. White wished for $1000. The next day, his son died in a factory accident and he got $1000 as compensation.

Person 2: That's a monkey's paw wish.

by Based Cow May 12, 2023