"I'm so sorry. I had sex with your father 20 times and your brother 13 times during our marriage, and there is a chance you are not our babies daddy!"
"Today on Maury: Our 12 year old guests reveal to their parents they are prostitutes!"
"Today on Maury: Our 12 year old guests reveal to their parents they are prostitutes!"
by Meijer's! January 03, 2006
You are not the father
- Maury
- Maury
by thenotoriousCYN_ May 07, 2008
An adjective often used to describe an amazing friend, a gorgeous person, or someone you wish you had. See also, Maurilicious, Maurielicious.
by Maurissa April 20, 2008
A Maurie is a sexy know it all but, as you get to know her you will realize she is actually really nice and kind, she’s still really fucking hot though, when you see her she’ll make you smile for way more than one reason.
by Maurieeeeeeeee November 07, 2019
The Maury - The act of 50+ men ejaculating into a container such as a bucket, to have a woman stir it using her hands and then precede to masturbate using said hand until conception is achieved. Ten months later all members of the activity are to appear on "The Maury Show" to figure out who is the dad (looser), and who has to pay child support. A.K.A. "Russian Roulette - Family version"
by Dr.Frev October 19, 2010
a tv show (regular:17 cable:04) that constantly features women trying to prove that the man they slept with is the father. This is usually the main layout of a typical
episode
1. Woman says i know -insert name- is the father. I'm -insert outrageous percentage here- sure he's the father
2.The man typically says i am not the father. And starts calling the woman b--ch and s-ut.
3.Woman takes the stage once again, usually commenting that he has a tiny penis like the baby
4.paternity test results are revealed, guy is probably the father.
episode
1. Woman says i know -insert name- is the father. I'm -insert outrageous percentage here- sure he's the father
2.The man typically says i am not the father. And starts calling the woman b--ch and s-ut.
3.Woman takes the stage once again, usually commenting that he has a tiny penis like the baby
4.paternity test results are revealed, guy is probably the father.
See, i've always wondered. you know in summer the ice cream truck is always on the street. if they handed out free condoms, the Maury would fall apart.
by Do you really know what gay means? June 18, 2008
1) An American tabloid style talk show which exploits people of low socioeconomic and educational status, who are seeking paternity testing or lie detector testing to prove infidelity.
2) A tv show where you would find the most ignorant and ratchet Americans who weren't ignorant and ratchett enough for Jerry Springer.
3) A show where people go when they are too dumb or lazy to hit up a lab or the family court for a paternity test.
4) A show where women dash backstage like Olympic runners when they hear that the man they accused is not the baby daddy.
5) A show where Maury asks the accused man, "If this is your child, you will step up and take care of it," but the viewer can predict with 100% accuracy that the man won't do shit whether or not he is the father.
2) A tv show where you would find the most ignorant and ratchet Americans who weren't ignorant and ratchett enough for Jerry Springer.
3) A show where people go when they are too dumb or lazy to hit up a lab or the family court for a paternity test.
4) A show where women dash backstage like Olympic runners when they hear that the man they accused is not the baby daddy.
5) A show where Maury asks the accused man, "If this is your child, you will step up and take care of it," but the viewer can predict with 100% accuracy that the man won't do shit whether or not he is the father.
Joseph: listen bitch I ain't your babby daddy
Maria: Fuck you..we gonna go on Maury and find out.
Joseph: Imma be laughing like a mother fucker when you run backstage after Maury tell you I'm not the father.
*2 months later..yes he is the father
Maria: You know this is your son now! You told Maury you would step up and be a father if this is your kid.
Joseph: Bitch you funny. All the guys say that.
Maria: Fuck you..we gonna go on Maury and find out.
Joseph: Imma be laughing like a mother fucker when you run backstage after Maury tell you I'm not the father.
*2 months later..yes he is the father
Maria: You know this is your son now! You told Maury you would step up and be a father if this is your kid.
Joseph: Bitch you funny. All the guys say that.
by koriandr October 21, 2015