furiously masturbating

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

Masturdating

Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating

by Mikeparsh September 25, 2010

masturbating jungler

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.

Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!

by bananas107 May 16, 2023

Masturtasting

When you have some food that you want to savour, you suck and play with it and make moaning sounds. i;e Masturbating but with food :D

Person 1: Last night I ate some Devil's chocolate cake.
Person 2: That would have made for a nice masturtasting session.

by Kandyyy August 29, 2009

Masturbating

Is what I’m doing now ;)

I’m still masturbating bitchez

by It’s true bitches October 28, 2018

illegitimate masturbating

1. what jesus is said to have condemned as the greatest sin to be commited as "it is wasting thy knuckle children into a sock only to be put into the bottom ov a hamper."

2. what is done on a daily basis in the white house

3. learning algebra

4. sharing files on frostwire

i gotta go do some illegitimate masturbating

by incipitsathanas October 19, 2009

The masturbating ninja technique

When a gentlemen decides to enter the masturbatory stage of his day, he may decide to deploy the homo sapien style (standing up) only to realize his t-shirt drops down into penile range. To avoid ejaculate or any lubratory means being transferred onto ones personnel, the ninja technique is engaged by whipping the front flap of the t-shirt over the head to create a warm, stylish, and protective measure against the army of unbelievable stickiness.

Policeman 1: "We found this fine young lad frozen to death here in the arctic tundra'.
Policeman 2: "It looks like he's been out here for weeks and missed the warm soothing touch of a woman, and decided to literally take matters into his own hands".
Policeman 1: "Correctomundo. If only he had a mentor to teach him the ways of the masturbating ninja technique, he might have pulled through".
Policeman 2: "Hey! Yeah that's true. If only he kept his shirt flipped over his head with his shoulders covered instead of taking it completely off, he'd still be here today".
Policeman 1: "Poor, poor, uninformed bastard".

by dirk digglett March 31, 2015