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Apple Jargon

Talking or writing in an understated way to give the impression that something is 'revolutionary' all the while not giving out any real specific details just the way Apple always does. A similar technique is used by teachers, they talk really quietly when they want everyone's attention.

The user must use the word 'cool' a lot or 'neat' etc. See any presentation involving Steve Jobs for an example. Apple jargon has now extended to Google and Bing and even journalists that write about Google, Bing and Apple. Other feautures; the user must be so arrogant to assume that everybody already uses some of their technology. Using words like fun and neat also helps!
Apple/Google/Bing: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if you could have all your documents in one place wherever you went? Well now you can with Apple/Google/Bing ***. How does it work? Well, that's the fun part, you just put all your documents...

Journalist: Hey, this week we'll be looking at another cool feature on your iphone that maybe you haven't used yet. (Oh wait.. I don't have a f***ing i-phone and I don't want one!!)

Apple/Google/Bing: What is social search? Hmm.. It's pretty darn neato. All you have to do is put all your contacts in your profile and... (Oh wait.. I don't have one of your f***ing profiles and I don't want one!!)

Apple/Google/Bing: The cool part of all this is the fun algorithm we have running the whole thing which looks at.. (Wait.. wait.. will you say how it works?! Like hell you will! You'll just continue using Apple Jargon!)
by RolakiPapa April 18, 2010
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Jergens Jerk

Giving yourself a hearty wank using your grandma's Jergens hand lotion for lube.
Granny B never understood why her Jergens bottle went half empty when her grandson spent the weekend. His hands were always greasy from his Jergens Jerks.
by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017
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Related Words
jergo JergOptionPane Jergous jargon jergen jegro Jargo jerg jargogle Jargonaut

jerkoff monkey

Someone who is constantly used by others. Basically a tool of the lowest form.
"Come here you jerkoff monkey, shine these shoes for me!"
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jerkomatic

adj.- an automatic boner for you to jerk off after seeing a real hot chick in any format (magazine, video, real, etc.)
1: dude! did you see that chick's ass?
2: perfect! i guess that's why jonas went to the bath..
1: total jerkomatic...i'm goin' too
2: wanker...
by Puhercules July 30, 2009
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Consult Professor Hans Jerkov

To wank
by Dollarbill85 September 1, 2010
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jerbo

to feel all tense becuase of years of viriginity.
He was like hot fire- jerbo to the last drop.
by ken January 24, 2006
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jerkolater

The act of receiving a ferocious handjob preferably with lotion while taping the end of the penis shut with duct tape (must be secured very tightly) until ejaculation has been reached. Pause for 1 minute and watch as the goo oozes out.
While moving some boxes, Kelly decided to give me a jerkolater with grape jelly and and some packing tape.
by Raw_dogging_and_bailing July 12, 2006
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