A short publication that would have saved you a lot of time if you bothered to read it. However, reading an instruction manual before attempting to assemble/use the product with which it came is a sure sign of mental and physical weakness.
Manuals come free with purchases of self-assembly furniture, electronic products, children’s toys and many, many other products.
Some of these products are so simple to use, (eg. A padlock) that a 55 page, multi-lingual, fully referenced brochure doesn’t really seem necessary
When writing an instruction manual, follow these simple rules and you can’t fail;
1. Make the pages from stiff, shiny paper so that it’ll only stay open at the right page with the help of a rock, a toolbox and a dining room table positioned on each corner.
2. Make an extensive ‘Contents Page’ using the smallest font available and ensuring that you number the chapters, sections and sub-sections. Do this even if you only have 3 pages.
3. If applicable, include an illustration of the parts the buyer SHOULD have received and make sure this includes a picture of the manual itself.
4. When you reach the English chapter, don’t be tempted to waste money on a translator, as you can simply guess most English words and make up the rest as you go along.
5. Be sure to include diagrammatical information where appropriate – get a four year old child to help you with the drawings.
6. Make the manual's cover attractive to women so that they can sit on their comfy sofas and shout directions at their husband/boyfriend when they are doing perfectly well with superior male intuition (and brute force)
Manuals come free with purchases of self-assembly furniture, electronic products, children’s toys and many, many other products.
Some of these products are so simple to use, (eg. A padlock) that a 55 page, multi-lingual, fully referenced brochure doesn’t really seem necessary
When writing an instruction manual, follow these simple rules and you can’t fail;
1. Make the pages from stiff, shiny paper so that it’ll only stay open at the right page with the help of a rock, a toolbox and a dining room table positioned on each corner.
2. Make an extensive ‘Contents Page’ using the smallest font available and ensuring that you number the chapters, sections and sub-sections. Do this even if you only have 3 pages.
3. If applicable, include an illustration of the parts the buyer SHOULD have received and make sure this includes a picture of the manual itself.
4. When you reach the English chapter, don’t be tempted to waste money on a translator, as you can simply guess most English words and make up the rest as you go along.
5. Be sure to include diagrammatical information where appropriate – get a four year old child to help you with the drawings.
6. Make the manual's cover attractive to women so that they can sit on their comfy sofas and shout directions at their husband/boyfriend when they are doing perfectly well with superior male intuition (and brute force)
The instruction manual was written in total gibberish.
The instruction manual's glossary section was extremely useful.
Jack: Would you like to learn how your phone works in Arabic?
Jill: Oh Yes Please!
Jack: Here you are, it starts on page 205.
The instruction manual's glossary section was extremely useful.
Jack: Would you like to learn how your phone works in Arabic?
Jill: Oh Yes Please!
Jack: Here you are, it starts on page 205.
by Jimstock July 16, 2008
Get the instruction manual mug.A common phrase said by one after they gave instructions, usually followed by an impossible consequence for not following the instructions correctly.
by Hunter512 September 16, 2014
Get the Instructions were unclear mug.by spanky February 5, 2004
Get the weapon of math instruction mug.by Rodney Basil December 14, 2003
Get the Weapons of Math Instruction mug.A riduculous document which is far too detailed and tricky to write, permanantly needs updating and then once ratified it disspears into a black hole never to be used by anyone.
by Pixie Pedley February 5, 2010
Get the Work Instruction mug.Those words your wife keeps screaming at you while you try to figure out why your table only has 3 legs after you finished it.
by J.M.R. October 25, 2005
Get the instructions mug.A detailed instruction and guide for various operations at Plant II. Its intent is to apply LEAN manufacturing concepts and initiatives. While never used, this document consumed hundreds of hours of preparation time. It's true benefit to cost ratio still remains unknown.
"Hey Aaron, let's go to Plant II and see how things are going with the Plant II instruction manual." "Sounds good Carl, but before we go check that out let's go get some breakfast at McDonald's and see who we can catch cheating on their 10 minute break by going to the gas station for coffee."
by Digital Dan September 11, 2012
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