After being left at the altar, I decided to create my "Fuck-It List," which includes the following recent revelations and activities:
You're fat and you know it.
Your
baby is
ugly so stop posting pictures of him on Facebook.
Your breath smells like sleep even after you brush your teeth.
When you
smile, it looks like you lost your upper lip.
Also, I took a dump in my mom'
s toilet tank after she yelled at me for the dog hair in my house.