n. the state of being partway between single and married; an indefinite period of time where you plan and put off the seemingly inevitable.
For a female partner, this period of time is filled with moodiness, piles of bridal magazines, and excessive showing off to her friends and family. She alternates between showering you with grateful affection and mercilessly hounding you to make sure you "truly love her". Often, the simplest question -- such as "what do you want from the grocery store?" -- provokes a fit of insecurity and accusations about you cheating on her "with that slutty stocker in aisle 9". She will also ask you peculiar and often terrifying questions, such as how many kids you want to have ("six or seven?"), in an attempt to secure certainty of your complete sincerity and fidelity.
At other times, she will obsessively plan out every detail of your wedding without your explicit consent. Do not be taken aback by her behavior -- she has had practice with this since she started fantasizing about her wedding at about the age of seven.
You will also often see her surrounded by other women, usually her close friends and members of her family, all weeping in joy or clamoring to see that damned expensive ring you got her. At this time, they will tend to squeal and cry at random times and speak in their own cryptic language. Warning: do not attempt to approach such a hoarde of women. Such an action would not only be suicidal but also extremely stupid. See "The Darwin Awards" for accounts of such follies.
For the male partner, this time is often filled with depression, anxiety, and indecision. The gravity of the situation finally sinks in, and you will find him alternating between absolute compliance to your every word and hesitant dodging of your questions. You may find him indulging in beer, coffee, ESPN, or Spike TV more than usual. His sympathetic friends may throw him a bachelor party, which will be his last chance to guiltlessly peek up another girl's skirt. Do not be taken aback by this infidelity; it will be his last breath of fresh air before you may legally and emotionally smother him for life.
During your latest sexual encounter, you may also find that his left nut is missing. Do not be alarmed; that was the cost of your diamond ring.
For certain couples in Massachusetts and Canada, this brief period of time will be filled with fabulous celebration. There may be little actual decision-making involved; you're obviously going to play that heart-wrenching RENT song at your wedding, you already picked out your handsome tuxedo months ago, the pink champagne's in the mail, and maybe you can even convince that sexy pool-cleaner to be your best man. Hey, can't a guy indulge a little before he ties the knot?
According to Hollywood, engagement is also the time when couples are most prone to affairs, scandals, and general promiscuity. It is the default status for any hot celebrity couple, as they can afford the thousands of dollars on ten diamond rings (just to be sure) and their emotions are somehow more flexible and breakable than that of a regular couple.
For a female partner, this period of time is filled with moodiness, piles of bridal magazines, and excessive showing off to her friends and family. She alternates between showering you with grateful affection and mercilessly hounding you to make sure you "truly love her". Often, the simplest question -- such as "what do you want from the grocery store?" -- provokes a fit of insecurity and accusations about you cheating on her "with that slutty stocker in aisle 9". She will also ask you peculiar and often terrifying questions, such as how many kids you want to have ("six or seven?"), in an attempt to secure certainty of your complete sincerity and fidelity.
At other times, she will obsessively plan out every detail of your wedding without your explicit consent. Do not be taken aback by her behavior -- she has had practice with this since she started fantasizing about her wedding at about the age of seven.
You will also often see her surrounded by other women, usually her close friends and members of her family, all weeping in joy or clamoring to see that damned expensive ring you got her. At this time, they will tend to squeal and cry at random times and speak in their own cryptic language. Warning: do not attempt to approach such a hoarde of women. Such an action would not only be suicidal but also extremely stupid. See "The Darwin Awards" for accounts of such follies.
For the male partner, this time is often filled with depression, anxiety, and indecision. The gravity of the situation finally sinks in, and you will find him alternating between absolute compliance to your every word and hesitant dodging of your questions. You may find him indulging in beer, coffee, ESPN, or Spike TV more than usual. His sympathetic friends may throw him a bachelor party, which will be his last chance to guiltlessly peek up another girl's skirt. Do not be taken aback by this infidelity; it will be his last breath of fresh air before you may legally and emotionally smother him for life.
During your latest sexual encounter, you may also find that his left nut is missing. Do not be alarmed; that was the cost of your diamond ring.
For certain couples in Massachusetts and Canada, this brief period of time will be filled with fabulous celebration. There may be little actual decision-making involved; you're obviously going to play that heart-wrenching RENT song at your wedding, you already picked out your handsome tuxedo months ago, the pink champagne's in the mail, and maybe you can even convince that sexy pool-cleaner to be your best man. Hey, can't a guy indulge a little before he ties the knot?
According to Hollywood, engagement is also the time when couples are most prone to affairs, scandals, and general promiscuity. It is the default status for any hot celebrity couple, as they can afford the thousands of dollars on ten diamond rings (just to be sure) and their emotions are somehow more flexible and breakable than that of a regular couple.
Different Scenarios of Engagement:
Man #1: I'm engaged.
Man #2: Shit, man. She got you?
Woman #1: I'm engaged.
Woman #2: Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm so happy for you! Have you picked out your wedding dress yet? Hang on, I've gotta call Barbara and Michelle and Jessica and Holly and...
Gay Man #1: I'm engaged.
Gay Man #2: Oh god, that's so fabulous! I totally knew you two were meant to be. It's like your souls just color-coordinate, like all the time.
Britney Spears: I'm engaged.
General Public: Again?
Man #1: I'm engaged.
Man #2: Shit, man. She got you?
Woman #1: I'm engaged.
Woman #2: Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm so happy for you! Have you picked out your wedding dress yet? Hang on, I've gotta call Barbara and Michelle and Jessica and Holly and...
Gay Man #1: I'm engaged.
Gay Man #2: Oh god, that's so fabulous! I totally knew you two were meant to be. It's like your souls just color-coordinate, like all the time.
Britney Spears: I'm engaged.
General Public: Again?
by Ribbons July 29, 2008
Get the engagement mug.A social media post that encourages engagement by having people correct an intentional mistake in the comments. (i.e. misspelled word, incorrect fact, or staged blooper)
Q: Dude, why do so many people on TikTok have smoke detectors beeping?
A: It’s an engagement troll. They want people to point it out in the comments to increase engagement.
A: It’s an engagement troll. They want people to point it out in the comments to increase engagement.
by Fauci’s Ferrets June 14, 2021
Get the Engagement Troll mug.Related Words
When two people in a relationship promise each other that one day in the future, one of them will formally propose and the other will accept.
Usually made when a couple are young and the man cant afford to buy a nice expensive shiny ring for his deserving girlfriend
Usually made when a couple are young and the man cant afford to buy a nice expensive shiny ring for his deserving girlfriend
Guy: "Baby I promise that ill get you that ring and im going to ask for your hand in marriage!"
Girl: *Gasp* "And we'll live happily ever after!"
Guy: "This is a serious pre engagement! You better not be humoring me!"
Girl: *Gasp* "And we'll live happily ever after!"
Guy: "This is a serious pre engagement! You better not be humoring me!"
by awsomecoolguy69 August 4, 2008
Get the Pre Engagement mug.A child that behaves in such an aggravating manner that you wish you could make them choke on your dick to shut them up.
<Child, annoying you while you want to take a nap> "HELLO FRIEND! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME THINGS?"
<You, wishing the child went to play somewhere else and left you alone once and for all> "Inhale my dong, enragement child."
<You, wishing the child went to play somewhere else and left you alone once and for all> "Inhale my dong, enragement child."
by BlannyBloo September 9, 2015
Get the enragement child mug.What a savvy woman enters into in lieu of marriage. A permanent fiancé with the added benefit of a diamond ring, but without any of the complications of marriage. A diamond ring without the strings.
by LuluBleu September 2, 2017
Get the Eternal engagement mug.When you are so high that you reach a state in which alternate realities become present. In your mind the folding of space and time occur and the future may becomes present, but no recollection may occur. Often related with revival after death.
Yo, did you see what happened to Rodger, he reached a state of psychedelic engagement last night when he are that brownie.
by Anthony Mufasa White February 23, 2015
Get the Psychedelic Engagement mug.A hickey
by Turtlehead girl March 31, 2009
Get the Kensington Engagement Ring mug.