consultant

A bullshit artist who is paid to provide ideas to managers, who then make the ideas appear to employees as if they were their own. Meanwhile, the consultant runs off to the the service of another client in order to avoid being around to take the blame when their obscurantist, superficial ideas are actually implemented.

Here's that douchebag consultant again who is going to give some quadrant diagram on mitigation strategies for $2k/day.

by not ted December 15, 2011

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Get the consultantmug.

consultanted

When you want to explain something ridiculous looking professional whilst doing it.

Rod just consultanted you!

by Rodisrightbarbie April 19, 2018

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Get the consultantedmug.

consult

Verb. To provide a penis with please via mouth.

"After our date last night, that whore consulted me"

"boy, what I would give to get consulted right now"

"why don't you just go consult him and get it the hell over with"

by robcoreatthedisco18 March 4, 2009

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Get the consultmug.

Consultation

(Chiefly British:) A period before a decision (such as a new regulation) takes effect, during which opposed opinions are heard.

A consultation usually takes place after an unpopular resolution has been made by the authorities. Usually a consultation offers the illusion that people's opinions matter and that said decision can change, where in fact they are merely designed to let steam out.

Consultations also 'cover the decision maker's arse': when the decision turns out to be a mistake, the absence of public records of the consultations allows the decision maker to claim to share the responsibility.

The announcement of budget cuts was followed by a brief consultation, during which everyone chickened out and nobody spoke up.

by Harry Tuttle September 19, 2010

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