computer dick

Similar to whiskey dick. It's when you are on a date with a girl and can't get it up because you spanked it all day while on the internet.

Friend: "How was your date with Suzy?" You: "Ah man, I had computer dick and couldn't get it up." Friend: "Are you fucking cereal? She's hot!"

by Rockabee September 10, 2014

computard

One who lacks proficiency and competence within the field of computers to the extent at which he or she is an annoyance to others. A computard is prone to asking inane questions requiring one to break an explanation down to mere two word steps consiting of one verb and one noun (i.e. move mouse, click icon, etc).

Dude, this one computard once asked me how to extract a zip file and I was like "Dude download WinRAR" and he was like "how do I download" and I was like "WTF dude".

by Vishal Agarwala July 6, 2004

computer tourettes

This symptom occurs when a computer is too slow or crashes unexpectedly. The user of the computer becomes extremely agitated and starts madly clicking on the mouse and swearing uncontrollably.

When MS word froze, the author realized he did not save in the past 2 hours. Fearing that he would lose his work, he started to click wildly on the keyboard. When the title bar indicated (Not Responding), he suddenly developed a case of computer tourettes. Click, click %$#!@@?*&! Click, @$$!*&&$#@!

by La Femme Dorothy July 28, 2008

hand computer

That thing that you look at all day that is small and does a billion more things than a "phone" but you and all your friends call it a "phone" when clearly it's really a hand computer.

Hey how do we get to that happenin party?
I dunno man, lemme whip out my hand computer.
Your what?
Hand computer.

by Hottdiggidydog August 28, 2019

School Computers

They barely work nowdays.

We don't use Windows 7 (aka School Computers), we use Windows 10.

by ROBLOX #1 Fan November 12, 2018

Speaking Computer

The language of a person when they lag so hard while on FaceTime or zoom that only computer noises are heard when they speak.

I can't hear a thing you just fucking said, you're speaking computer

by theurbanpoet69 April 25, 2020

hello your computer has virus

this is something what specifically an indian expert tech support caller would say and recommend downloading some file from an edgy website to help your computer run safely.

joe: Hello! my computer is not functioning properly, can you please detect the problem?
Tech Support Caller: Hello your computer has virus!!

by abondedspaghetti April 17, 2023