Crotch Monkey

A special type of person that resides in the bar scene and is desperate for any chance of "going at it". A crotch monkey is rare but deadly if messed with, and if slept with the monkey you will wake with one or more of these symptoms: Herpies, Super Herpies, Burning pee, itchiness of the genital and/or rectal region, and the super rare California King Crabs. It generally preferred to stay away no matter what.

Lance - "Did you hear Jack slpet with a crotch monkey?"
Allan - "Ya...he said he will never do it again."
Lance - "Why?"
Allan - "Because he said he had to go to the doctor for something called, Cali. King Crabs."
Lance - "California King Crabs?!"
Allan - "Ya, its like red lobster down there."

by Hybrid12367 January 2, 2012

Crotch Monkey

It's What You Say To Someone Who Wants To Get into You're Pants Or If There Simply Being A Dummy.

1.Hey KaeLan, Stop Being Such A little Crotch Monkey.
2. Yah, He Like Totally Slapped My Butt What A Little Crotch Monkey.

by KayLaBrown-Hair July 20, 2008

Crotch Monkey

A ugly whore.

a vagina looking cunt.
a monkey with a cunt as a face :)

A whore named mariahhhhh!

crotch monkey

Alabama hot pocket

by Missbricks December 11, 2009

crotch monkey

an STD that is highly contagious. It is to believed to have originated somewhere on GORDAN SCHWARTZ's gigantic ass.

"Yo, did you hear about T-dog? He came down with crotch monkeys!

by thadias April 19, 2003

Monkey crotch

A condition caused by any activity that results in a mans underwear becoming wet for a sustained period, resulting in chafing, redness, and a yeast colony growing on the scrotum.

This results in painful burning and itching, with incessant pulling at the groin for relief.

Working in the sun all day gave me monkey crotch.

by RabbiRob July 3, 2006

crotch monkeys

Crotch Monkeys is a slang term for Pubic Lice or Crabs. Also see std.

Danm, I was kickin it wit yo sista last night and those crotch monkeys be swingin' tha vines. Yo crab havin trick sista gave me the crabs and the clap.

by Mitchca April 21, 2006

crotch monkeys

The power of a computer, usually only a laptop computer. Strangely linked with the idea of cogs whirring in a human mind, the crotch monkeys do the sums inside the laptop. The more crotch monkeys - the faster the machine, and vice versa.

Jesus, look at that brand new apple jobbie, think how many crotch monkeys that fuck's got.

by Rawson September 21, 2003