A Crusty Balloon is when one jizzes on their sexual partner’s breasts if female, testicles if male; Following the act of ejaculation the partner proceeds to let the semen air dry. Once the cum is dry and flaky, if ejaculate can be removed from vigorous punches to the breasts, crusty balloons have been achieved.
Doug and Sasha passed out at the party and we woke them up with with a round of crusty balloons, each.
by Krusty Balloons August 28, 2020
Get the Crusty Balloon mug.Tiny balls of dried semen stuck to pubes on the nutsack from repeatedly masterbating On One's Self With No Clean Up sort of like a dingle berrymade from poo on ass hair
by blumpkin25 February 9, 2015
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by Kyokochan March 19, 2021
Get the Chapped lip crusty mug.In pick up basketball when older less athletic players beat younger more athletic players by using thier craftyness.
by Gators Wear Jean Shorts April 6, 2010
Get the Crafty Ball mug.| CRAH-ster-full |
adjective
To be simultaneously crafty and masterful in an abundantly confident way.
(also: crastery, noun)
The act of being crasterful.
One is crasterful in an authentic way when one demonstrates the depth of one’s skills, knowledge, or experience. In this sense, the crasterful person is a true expert in his or her field and displays a justified level of assuredness.
One is crasterful in an inauthentic way when one fancies oneself knowledgeable but is actually full of shit. This is exemplified when one does not really know what one is talking about but arrogantly rambles on regardless.
Since being crasterful usually manifests itself in the form of explaining something in a very knowing, self-assured way, it can be difficult to discern precisely how knowledgeable the person actually is. While it can be prudent to attempt to determine the authenticity of one’s crastery, this is not always possible. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, crastery does not have inherently positive or negative connotations; rather, it is simply a descriptor that demonstrates someone is “in the zone,” even if that zone is incorrect.
Oftentimes crastery can be expressed nonverbally, usually by flashing a crasterful smile. This look simply says, “You should listen to me, because I know what I'm talking about.” The telltale signs of a crasterful smile are crooked smirks, raised eyebrows, and twinkling eyes. Slow nods are also common.
adjective
To be simultaneously crafty and masterful in an abundantly confident way.
(also: crastery, noun)
The act of being crasterful.
One is crasterful in an authentic way when one demonstrates the depth of one’s skills, knowledge, or experience. In this sense, the crasterful person is a true expert in his or her field and displays a justified level of assuredness.
One is crasterful in an inauthentic way when one fancies oneself knowledgeable but is actually full of shit. This is exemplified when one does not really know what one is talking about but arrogantly rambles on regardless.
Since being crasterful usually manifests itself in the form of explaining something in a very knowing, self-assured way, it can be difficult to discern precisely how knowledgeable the person actually is. While it can be prudent to attempt to determine the authenticity of one’s crastery, this is not always possible. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, crastery does not have inherently positive or negative connotations; rather, it is simply a descriptor that demonstrates someone is “in the zone,” even if that zone is incorrect.
Oftentimes crastery can be expressed nonverbally, usually by flashing a crasterful smile. This look simply says, “You should listen to me, because I know what I'm talking about.” The telltale signs of a crasterful smile are crooked smirks, raised eyebrows, and twinkling eyes. Slow nods are also common.
“My snowboard instructor has been giving me pointers, and thanks to her, I just rode my first black diamond run. I’m glad she’s so crasterful!”
“I am in absolute awe of Neil deGrasse Tyson’s scientific crastery.”
“Take it easy, buddy. I think you may be getting just a bit too crasterful for your own good.”
“In my opinion, Stephen Colbert is the epitome of political pundit crastery.”
“I was really crasterful while writing this definition for Urban Dictionary.”
“J.K. Simmons always gets typecast as ‘that crasterful guy,’ but he’s actually quite an accomplished actor.”
“That’s one hell of a crasterful smile you’re sporting. What’s the plan?”
“I am in absolute awe of Neil deGrasse Tyson’s scientific crastery.”
“Take it easy, buddy. I think you may be getting just a bit too crasterful for your own good.”
“In my opinion, Stephen Colbert is the epitome of political pundit crastery.”
“I was really crasterful while writing this definition for Urban Dictionary.”
“J.K. Simmons always gets typecast as ‘that crasterful guy,’ but he’s actually quite an accomplished actor.”
“That’s one hell of a crasterful smile you’re sporting. What’s the plan?”
by roxburyrob00 December 14, 2014
Get the crasterful mug."Maybe if we spent less time dealing with fake issues from crafty-bastard Raphael, we could've delivered the platform upgrade months earlier..."
by wroec June 6, 2018
Get the Crafty mug.An individual who saves dried or cured semen ejaculate for the purpose of consuming at a later time similar to the relationship a diabetic has with their insulin.
So when i was done pulling out I jizzed on her butt and she layed there till i got home from work and when i walked in she flaked if off and ate it and smiled. Damn bro she is one crusty diabetic, but i still love her.
by Ranchgirls July 14, 2020
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